MITCH MITTENS is Scared Leafless with “TROLL 2(1990)!”

MMReviewsDear CInsomniacs and Sleepless Knights, I apologize for the late edition of this review. I have been here with the shades drawn down and my leaves falling one by one since watching this movie last night. This week Sleepless Knight PAUL ALLEN requested I take a peek at what critics call “The Worst Film Ever Made” TROLL 2(1990) and let me tell you…..it may be misunderstood to humans but for plants it is SHOCKING! 

Troll_2_posterImagine if you will (if you have not seen this film) a PRINCESS BRIDE opening with a grandfather telling his grandson a fairy tale. Only this fairy tale did not contain ANDRE THE GIANT, a revengeful Spaniard, or an “inconceivable” epic true love story. Instead, we witness the tale of a group of Goblins who trick a young traveler through a mirage of a beautiful woman to feast upon this gross green slime. All of a sudden the traveler begins to sweat green blood and turned into a gooey plant like substance that the Goblins feasted upon. I shivered at the mere sight! If you were a plant being consumed by a group of Goblins you’d understand. At least the child, Joshua, understood.

Anyways, we find out the grandfather telling the son this creepy tale had passed away not long before this, making us wonder if the kid is crazy or the whole tale was a memory. Joshua’s family, the Waits, decide it would be best for the family to move out into the little town of NEILBOG (Goblin spelled backward) in order to get a way and try their hand at farming. An extension to the storyline involved the Wait’s daughter Holly who was dealing with issues with her boyfriend Elliot spending too much time with his friends and not enough with her. When the Waits leave for NEILBOG, Elliot and his friends Brent, Arnold, and Drew follow them to the town to find “loose women.”

my-face-after-troll-2Fast forward later into the movie, the ghost of Joshua’s grandfather attempts to warn Joshua to prevent his family to be tricked by the Goblins by eating the poisoned food in order to feed the monstrous townspeople. Much like many characters in classic horror film cliches, writers make the children seem crazy when in all reality they are the ones that are the true “heroes.” And like other films, the family taunts Joshua and doesn’t listen until the grandfather’s ghost manifests and lights one of the Goblins, in disguise as a preacher, on fire to reveal its true form. This sends the family in a frenzy to protect themselves and find a way to save themselves.

Elliot and his friends remained on another side of the town in their trailer, wondering where are the women are. One of the friends, Arnold, bumps into a wounded woman in the woods running away from the goblins. Needless to say the Goblins catch up to them both and Arnold takes gets wounded by a spear. The scene above, sums up the demise of Arnold and the woman.Troll_03207d_3008007Now the dialogue delivery in this whole film is on the verge of being extremely hard to pay attention too with a side of wondering how these actors got into this film. The actress playing the families daughter, Holly, tops the worst of them all next to the father. The grandfather follows and the mother is the final. The only believable character acting wise was Joshua. The effects, though, were very good except in the popcorn seduction scene…..you’ll have to watch the movie.

Will the Goblins win? What happened to the Waits? You’ll have to watch the movie to find out. In misunderstood terms, I give this film about 7 1/2 out of 10 Hypnotic Eyes. The effects make it slightly more understood than misunderstood but the acting, storyline, and this creepy woman here…..makes this film a doozy.imagesHave any more Cinsomniacs or Sleepless Knights tuned into this film? If so, what are your thoughts on it? Do you agree with the rating? Leave your comments or private massage and let us know! If you have a suggestion of another film for MITCH MITTENS to review, leave it in the comments. Thank you for “tuning in” and come back next week for another MITCH MITTENS REVIEWS!

                                                                                       –Mitch Mittens

 

 

We Salute MR. LOBO’S SLEEPLESS KNIGHT OF THE WEEK!

56717_160538127320025_8273240_oSLEEPLESS KNIGHT SIR JOSEPH HERB grew up in a small coal mining town in central Pennsylvania during the rise of the cult drive-in movies and the classic monster resurgence of the 60s. He experienced many television horror hosts. His favorites amongst them were DR. SHOCK and CHILLER THEATER. He accepted the variety of misunderstood horror films and loved them for their over the top effects, acting, and story lines.HarryhausenOctopusLobby

By the time he grew up and moved to Philadelphia, the last host who as he called it “was blowing on the last embers of the local TV host tradition”- was the horror hostess STELLA. Fast Forward to many years later, he discovered that there were a whole new set of fans of all ages who were holding different conventions and shows in the country. He began to attend them and met plenty of his favorite stars from their movie roles.

YouTube became another key for him to discover lots of clips from different horror hosts across the country. One day he came across a collection of CINEMA INSOMNIA videos from MR. LOBO’S shows. He would constantly view the videos over and over for minutes at a time. In his apartment, ‘STOMPIN AT 3AM’ was a standard wake up music.

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“MR. LOBO was quite different from the assortment of vampires, magicians, and such that I knew from childhood,” Sir Joseph smiles as he explains, “A frustrated everyman with an acerbic wit who knows his films and speaks to a plant. What’s not to love there?”

In 2011, he attended MONSTER BASH outside Pittsburgh. Upon meeting MR. LOBO at the convention, he managed to break bread and talk with MR.LOBO and Dixie without letting his over-excitedness take over completely. IMG_0234

Today, he is now a full-fledged official SLEEPLESS KNIGHT OF INSOMNIA! He watches CINEMA INSOMNIA on ZOM-BEE TV and tries to attend many of MR. LOBO’S appearances as much as possible including this year’s BLOBFEST.

 

 

Thank you, SIR JOSEPH HERB, Valued Sleepless Knight, for ALL your support and for watching all those Misunderstood Movies! Here is your FANS OF THE WEEK certificate that you can download and print. Congratulations, SIR JOSEPH HERB–THE SLEEPLESS KNIGHT OF THE WEEK–for October 17th through 23rd, 2014!FanoftheWeekJosephHerb

You now stand alongside your “FAN OF THE WEEK” siblings and like them, you are eligible to become the FANS OF THE YEAR and receive a prize package that will include a framed certificate, official Lobo Necktie, Lobo Badge and other goodies to be announced later this year!

 

We take this Throwback Cinema Insomnia Thursday to Remember Summer….and Celebrate HORROR!


Dearly Beloved CInsomniacs and Sleepless Knights, we are gathered here today to remember the summer of 2014 by bringing you HORROR OF PARTY BEACH(1964). The warm weather, the misunderstood films, the conventions, the vacations…..all of these have led to this. Put on your BLOOD-O-VISION Glasses and be prepared to go to a “Swingin’ Party” with MR. LOBO and enjoy this Throwback episode!

Tweet, Tumble, and Share this free online episode with all of your friends and family and remember, “They are NOT BAD MOVIES-Just Misunderstood!” Join us next Thursday for another free episode online…and if you want more CINEMA INSOMNIA and Mr. Lobo check out the free ZOM-BEE TV channel for ROKU video players or purchase your own Zom-Bee TV app and take and watch Cinema Insomnia anywhere at any time! Also check out and follow us on our Cinema Insomnia Ustream page and enjoy even more CINEMA INSOMNIA fun!

15 Days till Halloween, fair Cinsomniacs and Sleepless Knights…..are you ready?

The End of THE CREST As We Know It?

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In the face of an impossible rent increase, CSLM, the operators of the iconic picture palace on K st. in Sacramento, is ending it’s 28 year reign on October 31st 2014 and the future of the theater beyond that is uncertain. THE CREST was a place for Great live shows, wonderful movies, and special events and has “created cherished memories and captured the imagination of all who experienced them. ” Mr. Lobo is saddened by this and feels bad for everyone involved. The potential loss to the community is mind blowing.

One could only hope for a outcome like one near my current home in Pennsylvania. After a similar crisis in Phoenixville, with the COLONIAL THEATER, famous from the movie THE BLOB, the community came together in 1999 and now owns the theater as a nhttp://www.bobwilkins.net/photo/crest1.jpgon-profit entity called the Association for the Colonial Theatre (ACT), committed to the full restoration of the Colonial as a cultural arts center.

Artists, Musicians, Performers, Patrons of the Arts, Weirdos…were all drawn to THE CREST for what it was. That place gave each us something that we carry inside us for the rest of our lives and it seeps into everything we do. My first job was as an usher there and film historian and reviewer Matias Bombal was then the manager.

He has http://s3-media4.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/Sk09_oBdA0t3edAaiiw5zw/348s.jpgwritten an article about the whole affair. It is very well done, well researched, and important  article…emotionally moving as well.

There is a farewell party on Friday at THE CREST THEATRE in Sacramento.

I will be sending my love to all who attend from 3,000 miles away. Know that a piece of THE CREST is lodged in my heart wherever I go and Whatever I do…http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rBPy3q339pQ/UzHXzGEKSfI/AAAAAAAAAHE/vi0miLEEuu4/s1600/996801_10100117646297933_1754559204_n.jpg

HAPPY HAPPY LOBOWEEN! It’s Mid-LOBOTOBER–Have You Made Your Plans to Be at the HORRORTHON?

https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10425157_10205446891556860_485642337451246430_n.jpg?oh=8a869709d664fbd3170819ff282f492c&oe=54B2D6D7Mr. Lobo will be hosting FOUR MISUNDERSTOOD HORROR CLASSICKS at the ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE in Winchester, October 25th starting at 6PM. Headlining the bill is HALLOWEEN III SEASON OF THE WITCH, and Fred Dekker’s NIGHT OF THE CREEPS! There will be Trick or Treat with Marc “Skippy” Price Q and A and another secret bonus feature starring Clint Howard. The theater has table seating with beer, wine, and a full menu. And it’s right next door to the lovely Country Inn and Suites hotel in case you want to get “Lt. Cameron” drunk at the show and sleep over. Mr. Lobo and Dixie hope to see you all there LIVE and IN PERSON!  It’s all part of the huge HALLOWEEN EVENT…DISMEMBER THE ALAMO!

MR. LOBO REVIEWS THE GHOULIGANS!

indexCINEMA INSOMNIA host MR. LOBO is bombarded with copies of shows from Horror Hosts and Independent Producers. There is a monumental wall of media that blocks most of the exits of Lobo HQ. Dixie, Miss Mittens, and Mr. Lobo sat down and finally gave THE GHOULIGANS!(2013) 2 DVD MINI-SERIES a spin in the old video-tronic-scope-machine. We made some important observations and discoveries and you can read all about it over at our online magazine HORROR HOSTS AND CREATURE FEATURES…

Mitch Mittens Reviews “TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE(1959)!”

MMReviewsEver since I was a mere tiny seedling in the MITTENS’ Family, I have enjoyed misunderstood movies from the past and even from today (misunderstood movies are EVERYWHERE). In our community and my family, MISS MITTENS is one of the bright shining plant stars of our time (next to Audrey Two of course)!  Watching my dear cousin MITCH MITTENSshow them with her co-host MR. LOBO, made me realize that I myself wanted to participate in this profession and spread the news about misunderstood films to the world. Yes, I may not be on the show like Miss Mittens but each week I will review a misunderstood movie chosen by YOU Sleepless Knights and CInsomniacs!

This week fellow CInsomniac, Frederick Jerant, suggested to tune into the 1959 black and white classic TEENAGERS FROM OUTERSPACE:MPW-78579The classic film opens up the credits to the familiar song we also hear from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD(1968) which as any misunderstood fan should know, you know are in for a ride. So with a nice tall glass of shimmering water and MR. LOBO’S PLANT FOOD POPCORN propped against my basket, I was ready to tune into this film.teenagers-from-outer-space-pic3

If you enjoy aliens, robot sounding middle-aged men pretending to be “teenagers”, pre-STAR WARS climatic twists, dramatically split story lines, strangely humorous lobster creatures, and ray guns-this is the film for you. It all begins when a group of aliens land their spacecraft on Earth in order to find out whether the planet was suited to raise the lobster-like delicacy from their planet called “GARGONS.” Long story short, one of the aliens flees the scene after one of the crew members blasts an innocent dog with his ray gun, making the runaway “Derek” to escape to the home of a naive teenage girl and her grandfather. In turn, the maniac ray gun-happy crew member goes on a rampage transforming any person who crosses his path while on his search for Derek.

Now, MITCH MITTTENS will not spoil the rest; however, will recommend to take the INSOMNIAC OATH before tuning into this film. MITCH MITTENS gives is a 5 1/2 hypnotic eyes out of 10.

Have any more Cinsomniacs or Sleepless Knights tuned into this film? If so, what are your thoughts on it? Do you agree with the rating? Leave your comments or private massage and let us know! If you have a suggestion of another film for MITCH MITTENS to review, leave it in the comments. Thank you for “tuning in” and come back next week for another MITCH MITTENS REVIEWS!

                                                                                                        –MITCH MITTENS

The Wolfes Join Mr. Lobo’s Pack! A Maryland Couple Are Our Sleepless Knights of the Week!

steveIn the land that gave us David Byrne of Talking Heads, Frank Zappa, John Waters and Divine, STEVE and AMANDA WOLFE discovered CINEMA INSOMNIA completely randomly after purchasing a ROKU streaming player and adding ZOM-BEE TV. Constantly on the search for good horror movies, bad horror movies and everything in between to feed their lust for macabre entertainment, Mr. Lobo seemed like a kindred spirit. It became clear pretty quickly after watching multiple episodes of the show, that he was the horror host for them. The mix of dry humor with classic commercials and trailers in conjunction with the misunderstood movies kept them coming back for more. The Wolfe’s have since made several long distance Insomniac Road Trips to see Mr.Lobo in person. They attended several events at the ALAmandaAMO DRAFTHOUSE in WINCHESTER VA in support of MR. LOBO. Steve has also been known to donate resources to the behind the scenes operations of Cinema Insomnia. Upon hearing Mr. Lobo was planning an involved 3-D episode with THE MASK for ZOM-BEE TV, he aquired two original mystic-mask-viewers used in theaters off Ebay and sent them to LOBO HQ. Mr. Lobo and Steve also share a love for the SF Bay Area band NEGATIVLAND–Steve suprised Mr. Lobo with a stack of CDs at a show when he had heard that much of Mr. Lobo’s original collection was stolen out of the LOBOMOBILE.

Among their prized possessions, the official LOBO Necktie, Lobovision 3-D Glasses, Autographed 8x10s’s and the prototype lunchbox based on the CINEMA INSOMNIA HAUNTED HOUSE SPECIAL. They plan another trip it to Winchester VA on October 25th to see Mr. Lobo live and in person as he hosts FOUR 80′s horror films including HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS, and TRICK OR TREAT!

Thanks AMANDA and STEVE, Valued Sleepless Knights, for your support and for watching all those Misunderstood Movies! Here is your FANS OF THE WEEK certificate that you can download and print. Congratulations, STEVE AND AMANDA WOLFE–THE SLEEPLESS KNIGHTS OF THE WEEK–for October 10th through 16th, 2014!
WolfeYou now stand alongside your “FAN OF THE WEEK” siblings and like them, you are eligible to become the FANS OF THE YEAR and receive a prize package that will include a framed certificate, official Lobo Necktie, Lobo Badge and other goodies to be announced later this year!

 

22 Days till HALLOWEEN…..and We think it is BEE-utiful on this Throwback Cinema Insomnia Thursday!


Fall is really here, Fair Sleepless Knights and Cinsomniacs. It’s time to rake leaves, gather decorations and costumes for HALLOWEEN, and yet there is till one thing you do……prepare to keep the bugs away! Yes, yes, you spray and you spray those pesky little buggers in hopes that they might, just might, not cross your threshold during this time. Shhhh, but do not let the WASP WOMAN hear of your plans! Arm yourself with MR. LOBO for the disturbing account of Roger Corman’s WASP WOMAN!

Tweet, Tumble, and Share this free online episode with all of your friends and family and remember, “They are NOT BAD MOVIES-Just Misunderstood!” Join us next Thursday for another free episode online…and if you want more CINEMA INSOMNIA and Mr. Lobo check out the free ZOM-BEE TV channel for ROKU video players or purchase your own Zom-Bee TV app and take and watch Cinema Insomnia anywhere at any time! Also check out and follow us on our Cinema Insomnia Ustream page and enjoy even more CINEMA INSOMNIA fun!

22 Days till Halloween, fair Cinsomniacs and Sleepless Knights…..are you ready?

Fill Your Haunted Home with Spooky Sights and Kooky Sounds from Mr. Lobo

DVD_201_20A_originalHALLOWEEN is almost here, CINSOMNIACS! We have two discs that have never been on sale for any Halloween before. The first our CINEMA INSOMNIA HAUNTED HOUSE special  on DVD! This retro extravaganza –must be seen to be believed. If you don’t have a ROKU Streaming player or would like physical evidence of this television event…then you need to own this limited edition DVD. In this 90 minute program written and co-directed by MISTER LOBO, a group of “paranoid investigators” called THE TOTALLY FAKE GHOST-BUSTERS– who apparently had their own kids show in the 80′s–return to the one house that they could not prove was haunted by a fake ghost in a rubber mask. This holiday special is NOT ANIMATED but features some very animated actors who are better known as their Horror Host Characters.FGBcartoonweb It features HILARIOUS moments with…
DICK DYSZEL(Count Gore DeVol’s Creature Feature) as Sheriff Bronson Canyon, JOHN DIMES(The Spooky Movie host, Dr. Sarcofiguy) as Professor Ex-Exorcist
JERRY MORE II(Karlos Borloff host of Monster Madhouse) as V. Price Tagge
RICH KOZ(Svengoolie) as the voice of Dr. Rummage Goodwill
And of course,
MR. LOBO as Himself and
MISS MITTENS as Herself, who together have hosted horror movies on Cinema Insomnia for 13 years.

Also appearing is genre model and actress ANDREA MARIE and DIXIE DELLAMORTO, artist and Editor of Horror Hosts and Creature Features–credited as Kogarella the ape’s “trainer”.

Since the 50′s TV Horror Hosts have been a just as much a staple of Halloween fun as bumbling idiots in a Haunted House. Not only do you get top horror host talent but a barrage of Haunted House trailers, Cartoons, Vintage Commercials, and tons of spooky surprises and original songs by SCOTT MOON, APOCALYPSO NOW, and LARRY LEE MONIZ! Beautifully Filmed by ZOM-BEE TV in a real haunted house in Winchester VA (that has since been condemned and torn down!) Be ready for Halloween anytime anywhere and invest in this collectable spooktacular!

You’ll find it along with other CINEMA INSOMNIA goodies at our STORE!

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The perfect companion to this HAUNTED HOUSE DVD is our HAUNTED HOUSE CD…

Bad Manor thumb
IMG_4744Weeks ago we reported that we were #41 in iTunes TOP 100 HALLOWEEN albums of all time. Well, HORRIBLE NOISES OF MR. LOBO’S VERY BAD MANOR
has now slipped to #52 but with all of you opting to buy the CD instead of the download–we are not surprised we’re dropping in the eyes of itunes! SLEEPLESS KNIGHTS, do your part to support Mr. Lobo this season by sIMG_4745pinning this disc proudly and/or
downloading it from itunes and tell fair weather Insomniacs just how great it is!

It’s now on EBAY and AMAZON…but true “CInsomniacs” know you can get it direct from Mr. Lobo from our CINEMA INSOMNIA STORENVY shop……

The cover was designed by DIXIE DELLAMORTO and MR. LOBO and features art by BRAINS comic artist PAUL ALLEN on the back. And just ’cause we like you, we made improvements to the sound quality and added a bonus track. There are 20 tracks of semi-original spooky tales written and performed by your host with the most–Mr. Lobo.

Order Your Copy Now!
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Perfect for your Halloween! Bring Mr. Lobo and this NEW Halloween Sound Effects and story album. HORRIBLE NOISES OF MR. LOBO’S VERY BAD MANOR everywhere upsetting noise is appropriate! A wickedly funny satire of children’s vinyl records of the 60′s and 70′s.

And if you got it already–THANK YOU for making this our most popular item so far this Season!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM OUR HOUSE TO YOURS!