On Slasher, On Splatter, On Stalkers, and Vixens–THIS SEASONS TOP HOLIDAY HORROR FILMS!

While most of us associate the horror genre with the films that are released around Halloween each year, there are a surprising number of enjoyable horror flicks that actually deal more with the Christmas holiday season. So, to celebrate this quirky sub-genre, to combat the endless TV re-runs of A CHRISTMAS STORY(1983) and to completely avoid GRUMPY CAT’S WORST CHRISTMAS EVER(2014), here’s a look at a list top holiday horror films from years past…

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT(1984)SilentNightDeadlyNight_1

Arguably the leader in Christmas holiday horror films—and with an absolutely spectacular title—Silent Night, Deadly Night is a twisted and creepy movie. It’s also a great one to pick up and check out before this month ends. Basically, the plot goes like this: a young boy named Billy, who has been told that Santa punishes naughty children, witnesses his parents being murdered by a deranged Santa impersonator. Billy grows up with a fear of Santa and a strangely strict belief in punishing the naughty, and he ends up becoming something of a psychopathic Christmas murderer, declaring judgment on the naughty. A recent retro review of the film on Moviepilot called it “just the right amount of festive,” while “embodying the best of ’80s horror.” Calling it festive is something of a joke, but the idea is dead on: this is Christmas-y, terrifying, and nostalgic (for old-school horror fans) all at once. Enjoy.

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS(1993)

Tim Burton’s infamous animated holiday musical is not a horror film in the traditional sense, and it will only scare small children. But it deals in enough horror elements (after all, the lead character is “Jack Skellington”) that one can easily think of it as something as a lighter horror film, or even mock horror. And at any rate, it’s delightful: Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, grows tired of his annual holiday routine and essentially seeks to take over Christmas Town instead. But this movie’s real impact is in its legacy of animation. The stop-motion puppeteering of its characters was used in similar fashion in James And The Giant Peach, and it could even be said to have inspired puppet usage in later films like Team America: World Police. The general style and look of the characters is even still being re-used in Christmas material, as seen in the Ghosts Of Christmas holiday slot game hosted on Betfair, which you can view here. This game’s characters are not replicas of Jack Skellington and Co., but there’s a clear resemblance that shows the staying power of the film in portraying a mix of horror and holiday themes.

JACK FROST(1997)

You know this is a successful horror film (and comedy) because it has been labeled as a “cult classic” in the years since its release, and that tends to happen to the best of them. Here’s the synopsis: An infamous serial killer named Jack Frost is being transported by law enforcement to his own execution when their vehicle collides with a mysterious tanker. Like something out of a Marvel comic, Jack is doused in acidic genetic material and sort of dies and becomes one with the winter snow at the same time. The rest is pure comic horror gold: Jack Frost essentially becomes a murderous mad snowman, picking off victims (in the town of Snowmonton) one-by-one, circling toward the sheriff who captured him. It’s not light in the same sense as The Nightmare Before Christmas, but for those who like a laugh with their scares it’s worth a watch over the holidays. And the whole thing is available for free on YouTube!

BLACK CHRISTMAS(1974)

Before FRIDAY THE 13th(1980) and HALLOWEEN(1978), from the late great director Bob Clark who gave us CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS(1973) and ironically enough A CHRISTMAS STORY(1983), comes the often imitated but never duplicated tale of sorority sisters being terrorized on Christmas break by a homicidal and psychopathic stalker who’s violent and troubled childhood home is now their Sorority House. It begins with disturbing and obscene phone calls that put the girls on edge, when they start disappearing, they initially get no help from the police. This atmospheric and artistic horror film is STILL effectively creepy and has some great 1970’s styles.

8qhEjcdCK9hHxWzMx6cyYwLR4RGNaturally, there are many other holiday horror options out there, some of them amusing B-List options or what CINEMA INSOMNIA  fans call “misunderstood movies”. CHRISTMAS EVIL(1980) involves another Santa-dressed serial killer, SANTA’S SLAY(2005), reviewed earlier this month by our own Mitch Mittens, features the actual Santa turning into a killer, and some would even point to Joe Dante’s GREMLINS(1984) as the best of them all. But the above listed films offer one genuine scare; one light-hearted film with plenty of horror elements; and one classic horror/comedy blend. They should be a nice start for your holiday horror needs!santas-slay-04

All Rise For 2014’s FANS OF THE WEEK PART 2!

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The second half of the year, we honored Sleepless Knights and Cinsomniacs from across the U.S. and abroad! Ladies and Gentleman, here are the Fans of the Week from August 20th, 2014-December 5th-11, 2014

Prince Everlove August 20th-27th

Paul, Bree, & Sophie August 29th-September 4th

Rowdy Scarlett September 5th-11th

Reverend Steve Galindo September 12th-18th

David Albaugh September 19th-25th

Kim Wailes September 26th-October 2nd

Foamy Squrrel October 3rd-9th

Steve and Amanda Wolfe October 10th-16th

Joseph Herb October 17th-23rd

“Talky Tina” Berkley October 24th-30th

Anita Gale October 31st-November 6th

Cayce Campaign October 31st- November 6th

Marjorie Chardem Nevember 7th-13th

riv and Tom November 14th-20th

Michael Quebec November 21st-27th

Knurl Chubb November 28th-December 4th

Stephen Course Deceber 5th-11th

They are all eligible for the “FAN OF THE YEAR” to be announced on December 26th! The Sleeples Knight of the Year Award package includes: “CINEMA INSOMNIA’S HAUNTED HOUSE” DVD, “HORRIBLE NOISES OF MR. LOBO’S VERY BAD MANOR” CD, STRIPED LOBO TIE, “They’re Not Bad Movies” PINBACK BADGE, SLEEPLESS KNIGHT OF THE YEAR CERTIFICATE, Signed 8X10, Limited edition Signed LOBO/DIXIE 4×6, LOBOVISION Glasses, and LOBOVISION 3-D Glasses and screen used NOTE CARD.

Mr.LoboFOTWThis coming new year, we want to honor more Sleepless Knights and Cinsomniacs. We are accepting nominees for 2015 “Fan of the Week” awards. We want to share your story, your passion, your love for misunderstood movies and CINEMA INSOMNIA. You can leave your nominations in the comment section of this article and in the comment section of the pages or you can send in your pictures and story via private message or email out intern at: [email protected]

Thank you, Sleepless Knights and Cinsomniacs for a fantastic year and for your love and support for MR. LOBO, MRS. LOBO, and for the rest of the CINEMA INSOMNIA family! And Remember:

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It’s Going to Be a Silent Night….Bloody Night on MITCH MITTENS REVIEWS!

10447406_846179352092789_1087176575440826876_nHello Fellow CInsomniacs and Sleepless Knights,

In almost less than a week’s time, we shall all be gathering around for the holidays. Children expecting Santa Clauseto slide down the chimney to bring them their yearly gifts for them being good instead of naughty. This week, I reminisced about the old holiday classic horror film-SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT(1972).

Cue that old-time organ music will ya, Frankie? Ok? I guess not…..Not to worry, the beginning of the movie will take care of it. 8qhEjcdCK9hHxWzMx6cyYwLR4RGWe begin our story with a short history about a house where our main story plot takes place. According to legend (or woman in the beginning’s tale), Wilfred Butler, the house’s original owner was found burned alive outside his home the day before Christmas in the mid-50s. Soon afterward, the home was turned into an asylum for the criminally insane against Wilfred Butler’s last testimony in his will stating the home should be left alone. 

You know when someone says a house, a grave, a school, or anything that could or should be abandoned-stay abandoned? Of course no one is going to leave it alone! We watch an axe murderer make his way out of a nearby asylum, butchering anyone and everyone in sight without seeing his face as he drives away in one of his victims’ vehicles. Then we are left wondering who this guy is…….here we go

hqdefaultJeffrey Butler decides he wants to sell the establishment for $50,000 in cash to the townspeople through his lawyer John Carter. John lays out the plan and sets the deadline for the money to be paid for the house by noon the next day. Not listening to the townspeople’s warnings about the house, John decides him and his “assistant/mistress” Ingrid to stay at the house instead of the Paradise hotel.

Obviously, knowing two people are going to stay in a house that has been told not to be stayed in are, guess what? Axed to death and right before we found out what John Carter was going to give Ingrid her “present” *cue in cheesy maniacal laughter*.

 SilentNightBloodyNight_1972_GeorgeD-posterI will warn you, this movie is filled with acting you have wonder the why this film wasn’t a soap opera instead of a film. I even looked for William Shatner at times to pop up and ask why things were progressing the way they were.  I mean, even the acting coming from, wait a second, is that Principal Togar from ROCK ‘N’ ROLL HIGHSCHOOL? No wonder why the kids sent for The Ramones. Even when she was “young” her acting was…..let’s give it a C- for grading purposes. 

We soon witnessed quite creative bloody scenes, an interesting twisty plot line sprinkled with questions like: “How in the world did you know the caller on the phone was a woman when the individual did not call you!” moments from both her and Jeffery Butler who in the beginning gives off the “creepy axe murderer” vibes, and an ending that is snappy and so fast you have to practically glue your eye lids open to not miss it.

I give this film 6 1/2 HYPNOTIC EYES out of 10 because you don’t really hear about this movie around Holiday time and it has a great storyline, just “Misunderstood” characters and acting.

Have any more Cinsomniacs or Sleepless Knights tuned into these films? If so, what are your thoughts on it? Do you agree with the rating? Would you like Mitch Mittens to do another review? Leave your comments or private massage and let us know! If you have a suggestion of another film for MITCH MITTENS to review, leave it in the comments. Thank you for “tuning in” and come back for another dose of misunderstood holiday cheer from MITCH MITTENS REVIEWS!

——MITCH MITTENS

MR. LOBO MAKES A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT IN THE SAFE ROOM TONIGHT!

Fave image of the lobosMR. LOBO and DIXIE have broken ground on their own production/distribution company that will ultimately produce more CINEMA INSOMNIA episodes for you as well as other exciting and experimental projects. Announcement tonight at 9PM PST/12 EST on PARANOIA TV as Mr. Lobo is a guest on a new show called SAFE ROOM hosted by Olav Phillips. http://www.paranoiamagazine.com/safe-room/

Tune into ParanoiaTV at 9PM PST/12 EST for THE SAFE ROOM Featuring Special Guest MR. LOBO!

 

SafeRoom-copyThe infamous conspiracy reader PARANOIA MAGAZINE has a new channel PARANOIA TV–AND a new show called THE SAFE ROOM, Hosted by our favorite expert concerning anomalies, UFO, and conspiracies–OLAV PHILLIPS. Tune In TONIGHT at 9PM PST/11PM EST and hear CINEMA INSOMNIA host MR. LOBO talk about his own brand of suppressed weirdness–Misunderstood Movies.

SLEEPLESS KNIGHTS and CINSOMNIACS, Pop some popcorn, Bring the family together, and Tune into THE SAFE ROOM!Insomniac

All Rise For 2014’s FANS OF THE WEEK Part 1!

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This first part of the year, we honored Sleepless Knights and Cinsomniacs from across the U.S. and abroad! Today we salute half of them and congratulate them again! Ladies and Gentleman, here are the Fans of the Week from April 20th, 2014 to August 14th, 2014.

Laurence Laney Loftin April 20th-April 26th

Larry Lee Moniz April 27th-May 4th

Garret Mehaffey May 4th-May 11th

Renee Whaley May 12-May 18th

Jeremy Bridges May 19th-May 25th

Sci-Fi Bob Eckman May 26th-June 1st

Lady Bunny Galore June 6th-June 12th

Heidi Crabtree June 13th-June 19th

Marc Pikowski June 20th-26th

Rick Lucy June 27th-July 3rd

Mark Miller July 4th-10th

Luke Harris July 8th-14th

Ashley Statum July 11th- 17th

Ken Hulsey July 18th-24th

Russel “Mojo Man” Hunsberger July 25th-31st

Ophelia Necro August 1st-August 7th

Luke Harris August 8th-14th

They are all eligible for the “FAN OF THE YEAR” to be announced on December 26th! The Sleeples Knight of the Year Award package includes: “CINEMA INSOMNIA’S HAUNTED HOUSE” DVD, “HORRIBLE NOISES OF MR. LOBO’S VERY BAD MANOR” CD, STRIPED LOBO TIE, “They’re Not Bad Movies” PINBACK BADGE, SLEEPLESS KNIGHT OF THE YEAR CERTIFICATE, Signed 8X10, Limited edition Signed LOBO/DIXIE 4×6, LOBOVISION Glasses, and LOBOVISION 3-D Glasses and screen used NOTE CARD.

Lobofan copyThis coming new year, we want to honor more Sleepless Knights and Cinsomniacs. We are accepting nominees for 2015 “Fan of the Week” awards. We want to share your story, your passion, your love for misunderstood movies and CINEMA INSOMNIA. You can leave your nominations in the comment section of this article and in the comment section of the pages.

Thank you, Sleepless Knights and Cinsomniacs for a fantastic year and for your love and support for MR. LOBO, MRS. LOBO, and for the rest of the CINEMA INSOMNIA family! And Remember:

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All Paranoid–All The Time! FRIDAY 9PM EST ParanoiaTV presents THE SAFE ROOM with Special Guest MR. LOBO!

SafeRoom-copy The infamous conspiracy reader PARANOIA MAGAZINE has a new channel PARANOIA TV–AND a new show called THE SAFE ROOM, Hosted by our favorite expert concerning anomalies, UFO, and conspiracies–OLAV PHILLIPS. Tune In 9PM PST/11PM EST and hear CINEMA INSOMNIA host MR. LOBO talk about his own brand of suppressed weirdness–Misunderstood Movies.  IMG_1803

Let’s Take a Ride on “SANTA’S SLAY” on Mitch Mittens Reviews!

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To think it is already the holidays. Time to gather around for this holiday edition of MITCH MITTEN’S REVIEWS! SANTA’S SLAY(2005) is one of those HUGE misunderstood holiday horror films not many have heard of and few have seen. I viewed it several years ago but it was fantastic to hear you CINSOMNIACS and SLEEPLESS KNIGHTS wished me to review it. Strap yourselves in because here we go!

Twas the Night before Christmas dinner, all through the night the Mason family was hosting a dinner party. Not just any Christmas diner party. A Christmas party that would be the last Christmas party of their life. Mr. Mason (played by the legendary JAMES CAAN) pleads for a “moist” turkey, Gwen’s husband gets “handy” with the golddigger Mrs. Virginia Mason, and the twins nieces bicker over present requests. Then there came a clang on the roof, the thumping of boots, oh who who who comes to visit the Masons this fine Christmas Eve?

santasslay01

Why is it……Santa Clause?

santas-slay-04Or BILL GOLDBERG?

This is only the beginning, we travel to the town of Hells Township (what a name) where he begins “just desserts” holiday murdering spree. Can you imagine growing up with the joyful tales and images of a old man with a swollen belly who brought Christmas joy to the doors of children of all ages to all of a sudden become a murdering giant wielding Christmas decorations, lights, and stripper poles across the town.

douglas_smith_1253934934Why? Why is he doing this? We meet teenager named Nicholas who lives with his somewhat crazy inventor grandfather. Only his grandfather is not as crazy as he may seem. After Nicholas comes home to his grandfather’s homemade bunker, he sits down to hear the true tale of Santa Clause.  According to the tale, Santa (son of Satan) lost a contest with an angel of heaven. The cost? Santa had to cease from killing and slaying for Satan for 1,000 years and turn the official “Day of Slaying” into a day of joy aka Christmas. Now, that time is up and Santa is no longer Mr. Jolly.

SANTAS-SLAY-2The rest of the film is filled with unique kills, thrills, and cheer to keep you wanting more and more. One death in particular will probably be enjoyed or not so enjoyed by Star Trek:TNG fans. I wonder who is going to get his collection of irreplaceable collectables? 

Anyway, this holiday horror extravaganza is the gift that keeps on giving. I officially give this film a 10 out of 10 Hypnotic Eyes! You barely hear about it, it is truly misunderstood, and it’s one of those holiday horror films who should join the space alongside BLACK CHRISTMAS(1974) and SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT(1984).

Have any more Cinsomniacs or Sleepless Knights tuned into these films? If so, what are your thoughts on it? Do you agree with the rating? Would you like Mitch Mittens to do another review in the middle of the week? Leave your comments or private massage and let us know! If you have a suggestion of another film for MITCH MITTENS to review, leave it in the comments. Thank you for “tuning in” and come back for another dose of misunderstood holiday cheer from MITCH MITTENS REVIEWS!

——MITCH MITTENS