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11/23/05 Update

A Poem

by Slabby

Where has my Cinema Insomnia gone?
 

It is indeed a sad Thanksgiving.

Still no Lobo. All Insomniacs are left starving for good tv that is CI.

One special for thanksgiving and we can't even have it aired. Haven't people gotten sick of trash like the nanny or mad about you?

Obviously we know why they never show CI. It is fresh, great, original, smart, and funny. God forbid if people like it. That's the problem with this country. Just get rid of priceless art for the sake of another boring sex-crazed over violent piece of crap. I hate tv more than ever now. Its like tv purposely gets rid of good stuff for the overrated poor stuff. Either way, I thank Mr. Lobo for showing us how TV can still be good again. I really pray that CI will come on my tube one of these days.

 
Recommend a cinematic "turkey" dinner for Thanksbutnothanksgiving?

by Mr. Lobo

Bite into one of these...

• Bad Taste
• Attack of The Killer Tomatoes
• Children of the Corn
• The Stuff
• Pumpkinhead
• Poultrygeist
• Turkeyshoot
• Giant Claw
• The Big Bird Cage
• Love at First Bite
• I Eat Your Skin
• Hot Stuff
• Attack Of The Mushroom People
• Pi
• Wing Commander
• Rabid Grannies
• Last House on the Left
• Critters
• The Green Slime
• War of the Gargantuas
• Parents
• Blood Feast
• ...and Blood Freak!

11/18/05 Update

DAVE'S DUNGEON OF HORRORS

by Dave Baker

Welcome, fiends! Here we go...

DVD Review:
MURDER MANSION / HOW AWFUL ABOUT ALLEN

Family Value Collection DVD'S have recently been produced for the general public - for a mere $1.00. I will be reviewing part of their collection right here, so before you lay out that hard-to-hold-onto dollar bill, check here to see what the movie is really worth... $.99, $.75, $.25, or not even a plug $.05!

Murder Mansion is clearly an Italian-dubbed horror flick from the 70's! In fact, the first 8 minutes or so offer NO DIALOGUE, just music and sound effects! It's the story of how four women and three men are forced to spend the night in an eerie mansion due to inclement weather. Soon the bodies begin to stack up - and they wished they'd stayed outside in the cold, fog-shrouded night.

With plenty of blood, beheadings and gore, it does remind one of a Mario Bava film. It has some good, eerie and creepy atmospheric scenes - and the twist ending is predictable. A nice color film transfer helps it along. Runs about 90 minutes.

How Awful About Allen stars Anthony Perkins as Allen, a blind man who is tormented by someone... Ccould it be the ghost of his dead Father ?? Or a hateful relative? YOU be the judge! This film was originally an ABC "Movie of The Week" back in the 70's. A very good film transfer, in color - and it also stars Julie Harris, which helps to boost the values!

Overall, Murder Mansion is just O.K., but How Awful About Allen pulls up the value of this to a whopping $.90 !!

11/13/05 Update

TOWEL

by Mr. Lobo, Grade 6

 
I SAW THE BEST MINDS OF MY GENERATION DESTROYED BY 
ESPRESSO, 
STEAMING HOT BITTER,

DRAGGING THEIR BIRKENSTOCKS THROUGH THE STARBUCKS AT 
DAWN LOOKING FOR A VENTI FIX,

PINHEADED HIPSTERS HOPPED UP ON JAVA 
AND HORNY FOR THE FAT, PAINTED-UP BEER WHORE THAT IS 
PSUEDO-INTELLECTUAL PRETENSION,

WHO IN ARTIFICIAL SQUALOR AND STORE-BOUGHT TATTERS 
SAT UP EATING DORITOS IN THE DEEP CONTEMPLATION OF 
JOHNNY QUEST ON THE CARTOON NETWORK,

WHO BARED THEIR TATTOOS TO THE GUY AT THE COMIC BOOK 
STORE AND SAW 'LORD OF THE RINGS' A STAGGERING 
28,000 TIMES 
BECAUSE 
ELVES ARE COOL,

WHO HAVE CHARLIE PARKER AND THELONIUS MONK 
CHIMING AS THEIR RINGTONES,

WHO POST ANTHEMS AGAINST THE ESTABLISHMENT 
ON THEIR BLOGS 
VIA 'AOL',

WHO COWER ON A COUCH AT THRILLVILLE WITH A COLD SLICE 
OF PIZZA 
AND A WARM BEER 
WAITING FOR AN OLD CHEAP ROGER CORMAN MOVIE TO START 
THAT THEY ALREADY BOUGHT ON DVD IN THE WAL-MART DOLLAR 
BIN 
WHILE AN UPTIGHT GUY IN A BLACK SUIT MAKES FUN OF 
THEM.

WASH YOUR FEET

WITH WATER AND A STIFF BRUSH 
WASH YOUR FEET, HIPPIE 
WITH PAPER TOWEL AND SOME WINDEX - I DON'T CARE 
WASH YOUR FEET 
WITH A WASH CLOTH, BAKING SODA, AND YOUR BARE KNUCKLES 
WAX PAPER AND A COMB 
WASH YOUR FEET! 
WITH A TOOTHBRUSH AND A URINAL CAKE

PUT ON SOME DECENT CHRISTIAN CLOTHES 
AND WASH YOUR SWEATY TOE-RING PATCHOULI OIL PIER 
ONE TEMPORARY TATTOO INCENSE TIE-DYE MICRO-BREW 
BURNING MAN HEMP-SMELLING

FEET!

10/25/05 Update

DAVE'S DUNGEON OF HORRORS

by Dave Baker

Welcome, fiends! This is a new feature here at Cinema Insomnia, and I will be reviewing various HORRIBLE related films and products for you fans!

DVD Review:
HORROR HOTEL / CRYPT OF HORROR

Family Value Collection DVD'S have recently been produced for the general public - for a mere $1.00. I will be reviewing part of their collection right here, so before you lay out that hard-to-hold-onto dollar bill, check here to see what the movie is really worth... $.99, $.75, $.25, or not even a plug $.05!

Horror Hotel tells the tale of a young college student who is writing a paper on witchcraft. On her winter break, she travels to New England on the recommendation of one of her professors to do some research, gets mixed-up in some rather diabolical goings-on, and ends up staying in the Inn run by the spirit of a dead witch! (SEE: FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND ISSUE # 40)

Starring Christopher Lee, this one actually adds value to the DVD!! The transfer is very good!

Crypt of Horror is an Italian horror film also starring Christopher Lee, in which a witch curses a count, claiming one of his own children will avenge her death. Years later, the count fears his own daughter may be the one! Creepy and atmospheric , this one is certainly worth it!

Overall value on this DVD is $1.00! YOU DO get your money's worth of terror and chills !!

9/12/05 Update

Things You Never Knew About Carnival of Souls (1962)

by Mr. Lobo

• Carnival of Souls was shot in Kansas on a shoestring, which is much harder to load into a camera than standard film.
   
• Automobiles seldom float, but the 1947 Nash Sudser used in the film was made out of soap!
   
• Driving scenes were often used to pad out a thin script in 1960's films.
   
• Carnival Of Souls was the only feature film made by industrial training film director Herk Harvey. His other work includes Night Driving in High Heels, In The Key of Safety: Preventing Accidents at the Organ Factory and Utah: Where Fun Takes A Holiday.
   
• Cold water immersion can be quite revitalizing, under the right circumstances.
   
• Writer John Clifford wrote only one good draft of his screenplay before shooting began. Of course, we're talking about heroin - the principal photography came later.
   
• Candice Hiligoss was manufactured for the movie by Mattel.
   
• Driving scenes were often used to pad out a thin script in 1960's films.
   
• As Mary is driving, the ghoul that appears in the window is holdng a squeegee!
   
• The dilapidated Saltair Pavilion used as the chilling Carnival in the film was officially closed only two weeks before shooting. It was deemed unsafe after hitting 349 child deaths in one year, 12 above the state limit.
   
• The cinematographer for Carnival of Souls was nominated for an Academy Award® for almost making Utah look interesting.
   
• To save money on this homegrown Kansas production, all of the dubbing and sound effects were done in Italy and recorded by telephone.
   
• The word "Artistic," as a cinematic term, means dull or meaningless.
   
• Driving scenes were often used to pad out a thin script in 1960's films.
   
• After a second week of shooting unusable takes with the film's cast, Herk Harvey brought in the drama club of the local high school to help the actors with their lines.
   
• In Mexico, the film is called Chili Con Carnaval con Almas.
   
• Director Herk Harvey was leering at and chasing the lead actress around so much during shooting that they decided to write Herk in as a ghostly figure that Mary keeps seeing.
   
• Sidney Berger, who plays Mary's creepy neighbor, was not only in the Wes Craven-produced remake... but is also the only person on record who didn't demand a refund after paying to see it.
   
• Mary Henry accidentally gets killed when her car goes off a bridge, and after a tasteless couple moves into her house she's forced to hire "bio-exorcist" Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton) - wait, I'm thinking of another film.
   
• For many years after the film's production, Candice Hiligoss was deathly afraid of goths and eyeliner.
   
• In one scene Mary is in a department store, and none of the clerks or employees seem to hear or see her - proving it was shot on location at Macy's.
   
• The Foley artist chopped carrots on a cutting board for the sound of Mary's footsteps.
   
• For the cost of the Criterion DVD, you could have MADE Carnival of Souls!
   
• Soundtrack Composer Gene Moore was thrown off the set after asking Candice Hiligoss to play with his organ.
   
• Herk Harvey believed that every filmmaker has one good film in him. This was later proven by M. Night Shamalyan.
   
• A novice driver, Candice studied episodes of Supercar so that she could look natural behind the wheel.
   
• Driving scenes were often used to pad out a thin script in 1960's films.
   
• In test screenings, many thought the film lost its grip when Mary started talking with a giant hookah-smoking caterpillar.
   
• The jellied eels sold at the Brighton Beach Boardwalk are NOT 'electric'... although the intrepid souls who eat them may find them electrifyingly good - especially with balsamic vinegar.
   
• Most church organists prefer acid jazz.
   
• Mary Henry is a postal worker who, as a result of her brutal experiences in Vietnam, mentally breaks down and starts seeing demons which follow her and kill her friends - no, wait, that was Jacob's Ladder!
   
• Originally you could see the ending from a mile away. This was extended to 10 miles to help make the film feature-length.
   
• Sleazy greaser neighbors are seldom encouraged to show off their organ, however much they may attempt to.
   
• The film is so incomprehensible that it's often categorized in the "foreign" section at video stores.
   
• In the director's cut for the picture disc released by RCA a big, goofy Great Dane and a group of teenagers unmask the ghoul who mans the abandoned carnival - to discover he was really the organ designer from the first reel.
   
• Zombies dance poorly, unless the organ being played is a Whirl-it-zer.
   
• Driving scenes were often used to pad out a thin script in 1960's films.
   
• Mary is a troubled girl sees dead people walking around with the living. A psychiatrist (Bruce Willis) tries to help her cope with her unique gift, and to also find out what these ghostly figures - no, sorry! That's The Sixth Sense!
   
• When Mary plays the organ, her fingers don't match the notes. This is the reason the film is a laugh riot among organists and the Rocky Horror Picture Show of junior high school band camp.
   
• The Priest proclaims Mary profane after she plays the church organ "Kansas style" - meaning, without shoes.
   
• Elegant and fragile Candice Hiligoss appeared in only two films before she tripped on a dry leaf and shattered on the ground in a million pieces.
   
• The priest who was also the casting director was so busy "casting out demons" that he failed to secure professional actors for the film.
   
• Like many horror directors, Herk Harvey was also inspired by Million Dollar Mermaid (1952).
   
• Many modern horror fans feel this often overrated cult favorite is quaint and outdated.. To this I say, "Pish Posh!"
   
• The movie's title was was changed to Carnival Of Souls when the director concluded that the original title, Car Full of Dead Girls, might spoil the ending for some viewers.
   

9/12/05 Update

Things You Never Knew About Super Argo (1968)

by Mr. Lobo

• The original title of the film is Il Re dei criminali, which is Italian for "Captain America".
   
• A Spanish-Italian co-production the film was dubbed and distributed worldwide by Pasta La Vista Studios.
   
• This film is a sequel to the film Superargo Vs. Dialogue (1966).
   
• The groovy acid trip-like psychedelic opening credits were blamed when families all all over Italy started lapsing into seizures - however an investigation revealed that all were actually heart attacks due to too much cholesterol.
   
• Composer Berto Pisano (Bernie Powell) put out a hit single of the main title track called "Argo Au Go-Go!"
   
• Guy Madison (Guido Manacotti) is Professor Wendland in this film, and not Guy Williams (Geechi Guilliamo) or Guy Lombardo (Guchi Lasagna) as he is sometimes miscredited.
   
• In SuperArgo, wrestling fans are treated to some rare moves like the flopkick, the crotchlock and the half-nelson Reilly. All of these were banned in 1981 by homophobic officials.
   
• The action in Superargo begins in and ends in the ring.
   
• Besides his primary powers a like, super strength, levitation, and telekinesis, SuperArgo also has "fast coagulating blood" that allows him to accelerate the healing process. This due to the fact that SuperArgo's blood is 64% Bolognese.
   
• SuperArgo fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and The Appian way.
   
• Argo learns more about the mad professor's psychological state by visiting Italy's "Asylum for the Criminally Insane," which happens to be located about a half-mile from "The Prison for Criminals".
   
• The Professor's plans for turning athletes into mindless zombies was put into action in real life by promoter Don King.
   
• The Zombie-Robots confuse Super Argo by moving extra slow.
   
• Professor Wendland's Zombie-Robots are controlled by "the machine that goes ping," later used in the film Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.
   
• Claire (Luisa Baratto, also known as Louise Boring), the kidnapped wrestler's sister, escapes the lumbering pantyhose-faced cyborgs in brown suede jogging suits and massive metal headgear by actually walking away from them, rather than just standing there.
   
• The original title of this film was "SuperArgo and The Slow Pantyhose-Faced Giants".
   
• In Italy any person who is over five feet eleven inches tall is medically considered a giant.
   
• Interpol may have been stumped by incidents of missing athletes but they probably just didn't care.
   
• In Italy, Spain, Mexico and Minnesota costumed wrestlers are appointed to assist the Government.
   
• SuperArgo (Giovanni Cianfriglia, also known as Ken Wood) originally retired from the ring after realizing that telekinesis, levitation and super-strength probably gave him an unfair advantage.
   
• Superargo continues to wear his mask and red tights on the case because they brought him luck in the ring. He also carries a rabbit's foot, a fluffy teddy, a blankee, a fifth of bourbon, and a copy of "Dianetics."
   
• A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!
   
• SuperArgo tries to impress the Commissioner by breaking a vase with his mind. When that doesn't work, he breaks wind.
   
• Although Chef Boyardee is listed in the credits as Police Chief Meatsauce, all his scenes were in fact cut from the film as released.
   
• Professor Wendland and his zombie-robots, when outlining their plans for destroying SuperArgo and his spiritual sidekick Kamir, refer to them for the first time as the "DiGiorno Duo".
   
• There are obvious stunt doubles for Argo and Kamir riding the ArgoVespa.
   
• A Zombie-Robot clubbed SuperArgo with a spiked medieval mace after director Paolo Bianchini (Paul Mawell) found thought a the battleaxe originally planned to use would be too cumbersome, antiquated and just plain ridiculous.
   
• Superargo kills one of the Faceless Giants and brings it to scientists, who examine it - and discover to their horror that they are no longer human but... Pachinko machines in human shells!
   
• Professor Wendland hypnotizes Claire into believing she's in a good movie. (I know, I used that joke in Devil Doll.)
   
• The Zombie-Robots kidnap the decoy Superargo, and the real Superargo follows them in his sporty little ArgoRomero and eventually allows himself to be captured - but conspiracy theorists suggest that it was the decoy that escaped Professor Wendland's lair... and the real Superargo is still trapped, or worse.
   
• Originally planned as the pilot film for the campy "Superargo" TV series, the movie was instead produced between the show's first and second seasons. The producers took advantage of the larger budget to have a number of new Argo-gadgets constructed, such as the ArgoGondola.
   
• The Batman-type comic sound effects that were done in Italy were cut from this version because American audiences might be confused by "POWA!", "BAMA!" , "SOCKA!", and "A' BIFFA!"
   
• The ArgoGondola was built especially for the film by the Giovanni boat company. In exchange for their cooperation, the producers agreed not to speak of it.
   
• You cannot levitate out of quicksand.
   
• The more popular Mexican masked wrestlers of the 50's and 60's, like El Santo and Blue Demon, could probably kick SuperArgo's Asiago.
   
• Superargo is impossible to find in the woods, like fairies and elves.
   
• A sacred series of syllables is believed to summon cosmic forces. The mantra recited by the mysterious Kamir just happens to sound like "Help me, Superargo!"
   
• Wrestling matches often make front page headlines in Europe, since they are booked by Interpol.
   
• When we first see the Argowagon being pulled from the hangar, the whole catering crew and a huge eight-course Italian spread and with service for 26 is reflected in the glass of the car.
   
• When Superargo and Kamir drive the Argowagon onto the dock to reach the ArgoGondola, they leave their car facing out to sea - but when they return to the vehicle, the Argowagon is facing back towards land... proving once again that I am in serious need of a hobby.
   
• When SuperArgo is handing Kamir the shark repellent, the strand of linguini which moves the shark is visible.
   
• Dr. Wendland traps SuperArgo in an airtight chamber and fills it with poisonous gas. Fortunately, Superago survives because his character was so weakly developed and full of holes that he is lighter than gas.
   
• Julie Newmar (Guiditta Natala) does not appear in this film because she did not know about it and had signed to do another project. By the time she was informed, she could not get out of the other commitment in time to do this movie.
   
• The members of the United Nations change into different-sized piles of powdered cheese when they are dehydrated. However, when SuperArgo and Kamir rehydrate them all the powdered cheese is of equal volume.
   
• Other sequels include Jason and the SuperArgonauts (1969), SuperArgofly (1973), Raiders Of The Lost Argo (1981), Super Argo Brothers: The Movie (1993), SuperArgo Forever (1996), SuperArgo and Robin (1998) and SuperArgo Size Me (2004).
   

9/6/05 Update

Things You Never Knew About Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet (1965)

by Mr. Lobo

• Exploitation maven Roger Corman and his associates took an obscure Soviet science fiction movie, dubbed it, re-edited it, and added extra footage to make Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet and several other American releases including Voyage To The Planet Of Prehistoric Women, Voyage To The Bottom Of The Prehistoric Planet, Destroy All Prehistoric Planets, From The Prehistoric Planet With Love, The Seventh Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet Of Sinbad, and the madcap comedy It's A Prehistoric, Prehistoric, Prehistoric, Prehistoric, Planet!
   
• Venus is the sixth worst-dubbed planet in the Solar System.
   
• The majority of the footage in the film was from Planeta Burg or (Planet of Storms) made by the Leningrad Studio of Popular Science Films. Other films made by that great Soviet studio include My Helmet Is Sad, A Cow For Every Rocket, and Another Planet Conquered - Another Nail In The Coffin of Imperialism.
   
• Venus and Earth are often referred to as sister planets because the size, density, mass, rock quarries, artificial plants, bad acting and fog machines of both worlds are startlingly similar.
   
• The high temperature of Venus is created by greenhouse gases emitted from visiting astronauts who consume nothing but borscht and vodka.
   
• In reality, Venus would have a cold climate if Faith Domergue talked to it long enough.
   
• The planet Venus is named after the Roman goddess of pointless dialogue.
   
• The atmospheric pressure on the surface of Venus is 90 times the pressure of disappointed film distributors who asked, "Where are the damn Aliens in this film?!"
   
• Robot John was sued by Robby the Robot (Forbidden Planet, 1957) for stealing his act. It was settled out of court for a case of SAE 30 weight Pennzoil.
   
• Like the movie Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet, the real Venus is dry with flat plains, rocky areas, occasional depressions, and a slow rotation.
   
• Similar to the composition of Earth, Venus is composed of a molten rocky mantle with a core of papier mache.
   
• The rotation of Venus is very slow... therefore, watching 2 hours of any movie that takes place on Venus is consumes the equivalent of 243 Earth movie hours.
   
• The rotation is also opposite from that of Earth, which may cause you to fall asleep before it starts rather than after it ends.
   
• As a result of the space race, the planet Venus has been visited by over 20 spacecrafts, The American "Mariner 2" in 1962, The Soviet "Venera 7" in 1970, The Japanese "Yamato" in 1983, The French "LeProbe 6" in 1998, and next year Australia plans to tie a beer can to a balloon.
   
• After finding clues that stone-age type civilization might have once existed on Venus, the cosmonauts speculate that Martians might have tried to colonize Venus, but after watching some of Roger Corman's films slipped back into a more primitive state!
   
• The Film is set in 2020, many years after the retirement of Hugh Downs and Barbara Walters from the show.
   
• The real environment of Venus was hot, poisonous, and had violent storms of sulfuric gas - so most of the location shots were actually done on Europa, one of Jupiter's moons.
   
• The flying car in the film was sold to Russia from a World's Fair exhibit. The 1959 Ford Tomorrowagon was a flop in America due to the fact that it was said to be powered by the despair of children. (The Soviet Government was more okay with that.)
   
• The film was shot in Fade-O-Color.
   
• This film singlehandedly lengthened the cold war between the US and Russia by 20 years.
   
• After the stylish space suits for Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet hit the runways in Paris, silver Moon boots became outdated and dowdy almost overnight.
   
• The fuzzy-mouthed, tentacled plant that attacks the astronaut at the beginning of the film was rumored to have torrid offscreen affairs with almost all of the male cast members.
   
• This film is filled with scary prehistoric-type monsters, most notably Faith Domergue and Basil Rathbone.
   
• Corman added Faith Domergue and Basil Rathbone - and you can tell, because they never get involved in the action and the radios they use to communicate with the astronauts say "Fisher Price" on them.
   
• The surface of of Venus is 80% carbon dioxide, 6% eerie atmosphere, 5% film grain, 4% haunting music, and 3% nitrogen, with traces of hot air.
   
• Rabbits and rats are physiologically unable to vomit.
   
• Although Voyage To The Prehistoric Planet and First Spaceship On Venus are often thought of as the same movie, one of the films is the story of a brave rocket crew and a robot who land on the hostile planet Venus and face unforeseen challenges and the possibility of intelligent beings whom they never meet face-to-face. I don't remember which one...
   
• On film there have been 136 "first missions" to Venus.
   
• Faith Domergue and Basil Rathbone perform on sets left over from Roger Corman's Queen Of Blood and on talent left over from Sherlock Holmes and This Island Earth.
   
• The clouds in Venus' atmosphere reflect 65% of the sunlight that reaches it. Thus, Venus is apparently the brightest body connected to this movie.
   
• The floating car is attacked by an giant pterodactyl-like flying reptile. Scholars assume this species migrated to earth and was called Gappa in the film Monster From The Prehistoric Planet.
   
• A subtitled version of the Russian original was started, but the typist fell asleep.
   
• In Russia they shot an earlier version of this film with all the astronauts getting eaten alive by the rubber dinosaurs, but it tested too well with audiences - so The Peoples Bureau of Cheerless Films forced the director to re-cut it.
   
• Marsha's propeller-driven comand module was designed by The Wright Brothers.
   
• The Soviet astronauts enjoy a good laugh when they discover the Venusian civilization was so amazingly primative that they actually worshiped a God.
   
• The lonely astronaut who finds a female face carved in a Venusian rock, just before violent quakes force them to take off, never said "We can't go! They're like us..." - he actually said "Webelos, they like fudge!". No one knows why.
   
• The American version of the film added new footage of the great Basil Rathbone and Faith Domergue to increase its appeal for a U.S. audience. But since that didn't work the new footage taken out again, and newer footage was added with Mamie Van Doren and several other gorgeous blondes laying around on rocks by the Venusian ocean and released again in 1968 as Voyage To the Planet Of Prehistoric Women - and when that didn't work the original footage was thrown out and straight porn was added to the Mamie Van Doren footage and it was released again in 1971 as Voyeurs of the Peep-A-Delic Playgirls.
   
• It's no secret that until comparatively recent times, Venus was thought by the scientific community to be an earthlike planet. Fortunately, today's scientists have stopped going to the movies.
   

9/2/05 Update

John Stanley's Story

(slightly condensed)

The first exposure to a horror film that made a lasting impression on the 11-year-old John Stanley was in the summer of 1951 with the coming of Howard Hawks' "The Thing." For weeks afterward, John was afraid to walk down a corridor alone, lest some horrible monster from another world would leap out and devour him. He felt the same kind of fear a few months later when he saw Robert Wise's "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and totally identified with Patricia Neal when she fainted on being approached by Gort the Robot. Thus was born John's love of what he would later, in his academic years, describe as The Fear Factor - a love for all things science fiction and horror.

In the summer of 1960 John was hired as a copy boy at the San Francisco Chronicle. Within a year he had a full-time writing job on This World magazine, and stayed for 33 years to become one of the paper's leading entertainment writers, covering movies, TV and other personal areas of interest for both the "Sunday Pink Section" supplement and the daily entertainment pages. Gradually he became more interested in the creative side of movie making and began interviewing directors, writers, cameramen, composers and others who made major contributions to the motion picture form.

During these productive years John managed to get a slow but steady stream of manuscripts published. His first book was The Great Comics Game (1966). In 1968 Gene Roddenberry purchased a Star Trek story outline from John that NBC would never allow him to bring to the screen. It dealt with religion in an iconoclastic fashion, most likely too iconoclastic. John also collaborated with Malcolm Whyte on The Monster Movie Game (1974), and in 1976 Avon published John's novel Napalm Sunday (under the title World War III), a satirical look at war's darker sides which sold over 100,000 copies domestically and went through two printings in England. He edited, designed and financed the printing of five well-known books to horror and sci-fi movie fans - The Creature Features Movie Guide (1980), Revenge of the Creature Features Movie Guide (1988), Them Ornery Mitchum Boys (1989) and The Creature Features Movie Guide Strikes Again. In addition he produced Lost in Time and Space with Lefty Feep (1987) - a collection of short stories by Robert Bloch.

In the late 1960's John discovered Bob Wilkins, and over the next couple of years they became pen pals. The same year that Bob premiered his show in San Francisco (1971), John finished making a short subject horror story in 16 mm, "Homecoming," which Bob aired in April of that year. Right after that John began raising money to make a full-length horror film, Nightmare in Blood.

After eight very successful years it was said that Bob would step down as host of "Creature Features." Bob asked John if he was interested in hosting the show? John's mouth fell open because he hadn't really thought about it that way. He had been calling Bob as a journalist, curious to confirm information that sounded dubious. But the instant he was asked, John answered: "Yeah, I sure am interested." An impossible dream to a TV non-professional guy, to host the most popular show in the Bay Area. Bob said he'd drop John's name to KTVU management and they'd take it from there.

Three weeks later, John reported to Channel 2 for an audition. However, before the audition one of the sound technicians had stopped John in the hall and asked him how he intended to replace a popular guy like Bob Wilkins. John told him he couldn't replace Bob, that no one could do that. All he could do was go out there in front of the camera and do his best. And if the public liked him, then he had a chance of succeeding. That gave John an idea for the audition and so in the opening he posed the question thusly: "How do I intend to fill Bob Wilkins' shoes?" John held up a pair of combat boots, which he said belonged to Bob, and filled them with water from a pitcher. He dusted off his hands and said, "There, that takes care of that little problem."

Thus began an experience that has yet to be rivaled by anything else in John's life. Wilkins, to his credit, took John under his wing and began teaching him the ropes. He assumed the role of the drill sergeant, and John became his recruit. For six-years Creature Features continued on with great success. John chose to play a benevolent, non-costumed character who was fascinated by what he called "The Invisible World Around Us." That world consisted of UFOs, alien beings, abductions, ESP, ghosts, the supernatural, anything and everything that we cannot explain with science or logic. To John, all Creature Features-type movies were an examination of that world, and it all tied together beautifully. John even created his own "mini movies," in which he would try to approximate feature-movie techniques. There was no money and little time so he had to be very inventive. It started with an interview with Chuck Norris in a Korean martial arts school, in which Chuck and his brother Aaron were sparring martial arts style. In the finished film, Chuck mistakes John for an intruder or attacker and threw him to the canvas. Then he apologizes, and they do the interview. John's last question offends Chuck and he throws John to the canvas again, and John passes out. It was an unusual kind of interview that set a new style for Creature Features.

Another classic was John's interview with Don Coscarelli, the director of Phantasm. It took place in a graveyard and depicted Angus Scrimm throwing John into the back of a hearse, where he had a unusual "interview" with Coscarelli and Scrimm as they gleefully and graphically described the horrors in their movie. In later years John did an elaborate two-part "Attack of the Incredible Killer Scarecrow." During John's tenure as the host of Creature Features, he interviewed hundreds of people associated with the world of movie making. The 1970's explosion of horror, science fiction and fantasy resulted in a plethora of entertainment, and with the movies came the flood of directors, producers and stars who wanted to expose their wares on Creature Features. A "Golden Age" it was, indeed.

In recent years John keeps busy as an Elderhostel teacher and has developed 12 courses about the world of movies, TV, old time radio, music, etc. He shares his experiences and talks about film with seniors about 40 times a year. He is also a full-fledged professional crossword puzzle maker.

Since the turn of the century John has appeared at several local San Francisco Bay Area conventions and shows - many times with Bob Wilkins - and fans of Creature Features are thrilled to meet with both John and Bob. Fortunately some of their old shows have survived and are available on DVD, preserving Creature Features for posterity in video as well as print.

8/30/05 Update

Things You Never Knew About Devil Doll (1964)

by Mr. Lobo

• There are many differences between the European cut and the American cut of the film:
1. The original has a starring credit for Bryant Haliday as "The Great Vorelli," but the American credits Tab Hunter above Bryant Halliday... which is strange because he is not in the film.
2. The production company credit was orginally "Anglo-Amalgamated" - and on the American print it's listed as "Crackers Gone Wild".
3. A scene where Haliday and Sandra Dorne leave her dressing room and go into a side room to have sex was cut from the American print. Instead, we are treated to six minutes of kittens playing with a ball of yarn.
4. In the European version there is a scene on stage where Haliday hypnotizes a woman from the audience into performing a striptease which ends with her topless. In the American version a raccoon in the corner at the nightclub gets his head caught in a cookie jar and fumbles around under patrons' legs.
5. Also in the European version, Dorne turns in her sleep to reveal a breast - but in the American version she sits up in a baby-doll nightgown and makes sure her Bible and gun are under her pillow.
6. As Hugo creeps into the bedroom to stab Dorne in the European print, we again see her exposed breast... but the murder is off camera. In the American version the dummy rips off Dorne's head and dances in a fountain of her blood - but luckily the breast is covered.
7. Sylvester calls his pudgy middle-aged colleage at a Berlin hotel, who is accompanied in bed by a young girl playing with her hair. In the American print she is wearing a bra and a see-through negligee... while in European print HE is wearing a bra and a see-through negligee.
8. The original title for the Europen release of the film was Devil Dog, but a lawsuit brought by the Little Debbie manufacturers - who had a popular snack cake with that name - forced them to change the name for American audiences.
• The British Version cut the sequence featuring the forbidden dance... The Twist.
• Devil Doll was in fact based on a short story written by Shari Lewis.
• The Great Vorelli (Bryant Haliday) mastered the art of transferring souls into inanimate objects. Unfortuately he was unable to accomplish this for the film's cast.
• Vorelli runs into rich, beautiful Marianne Horn (Yvonne Romain) and seeks to hypnotize her into believing she is in a good movie.
• William Sylvester plays the reporter (and boyfriend) of Romain who's writing a travel piece about smoking and talking across Europe.
• It was a longstanding rule that all foreign made films that were to be imported to the US were required to have an American journalist character that does absolutely nothing to advance the story.
• This was the first live action English Horror Film shot in "Supermarionation."
• Ventriloquist dummies used in the film were displayed at the premiere screening - but they got up and left 15 minutes into the film.
• William Sylvester employs an acting style called "the amnesia technique" that allows him to go from Gorgo to Devil Doll to 2001: A Space Odyssey and not be remembered from one film to the next.
• The Horseshoe Crab has eyes in its tail.
• Unfortunately the horror of Devil Doll has been overshadowed by the classic "Ventriloquist's Dummy" episode of Family Matters (1989) in which they made a dummy of Urkel. (shudder)
• The false beard in this film allowed actor Bryant Haliday to be cast two years later as the globe-trotting single father on Johnny Quest.
• Devil Doll's story of an evil ventriloquist controlling the mind of a dummy has inspired many other films, TV shows, and presidential administrations.
• Oddly enough, "Tickle Me Hugo" was the suprise must-have Christmas gift of 1964.
• Before Yvonne Romain falls under the hypnotist's spell, she claims she doesn't know how to dance - and under trance she proves it by doing The Twist!
• Devil Doll was filmed in England, which is the reason the Beatles came to America.
• Yvonne Romaine's character went through many name changes in earlier drafts of the script, such as Yvonne Iceberg, Yvonne Web's Wonder, and Yvonne Butter-Lettuce.
• Bryant Halliday, who was the Devil Doll's dominator Vorelli, later became co-founder of Janus Films, 'home owner' of The Criterion Collection - which made millions of dummies by Laserdiscs.
• This film has many tight shots showing the actors in close-up so that it would play for television... just as stale and boring as it did for the cinema.
• Because of budget limitations, all of the puppets in Devil Doll were made from Bisquick.
• Director David Lynch saw this movie and found it odd.
• It took six of Europe's finest sausage packers to get Vorelli's blonde assistant into her showgirl leotard.
• The Great Vorelli hypnotises a man form the audience into believing he is held hostage with a loaded gun to his head. He begs, prays, sweats, weeps and eventually cries out as he is forced to imagine a finger pulling the trigger and to anticipate the bullet crashing through his skull. Subsequently, the nightclub stocked spare pairs of underwear for patrons who participate in the stage shows.
• It's hard for us to imagine how a creepy ventriloquist who has the demeaning and dark act performs in front of sold-out crowds in Britain... since humiliating dummies and audience members would not become as popular in America until 30 years later, when The Jerry Springer Show premiered.
• Devil Doll is really slow and tedious and has no sense of direction, and it's really slow and has no sense of - Wait, I already said that. Uh, hold on. Did I say it was slow?
• To make Hugo the dummy truly horrifying, special effects wizards modeled his face on the unholy spawn of Larry Storch and Ernest Borgnine.
• To punish Hugo, now trapped in a doll's body, the evil Vorelli denys him ham, Christmas presants and shiksas.
• Most famously associated with the final segment of Dead Of Night, killer dummies have also popped up in films as diverse as Magic, Dollman vs. the Demonic Toys, Rambo, Red Heat, Cold as Ice, and The Adventures of Ford Fairlane.
• Devil Doll won the coveted Oscar for most absurd eyebrows in a motion picture.
• To save money on false eyelashes, fat fuzzy caterpillars dipped in tar were used.
• A production grant was given to the film Devil Doll by the Milkfed German Prostitute Preservation Board.
• Vorelli's delivery in Devil Doll is so monotone that portions of his dialogue are allowed to be played as an alternative to the Emergency Broadcast System test signal.
• You could fill the crankcase of a Volkswagen ten times with the amount of oil produced from Vorelli's face in this film.
• In Seattle, it's now illegal to air Devil Doll - the result of an incident in 1997 when it allegedly pushed 11,000 more of their depressed and rain-weary citizens to commit suicide.
• Director Tod Browning' was so angry at the confusion between his film The Devil-Doll (1945) and Devil Doll that he shrunk the entire cast and crew into tiny slaves to do his bidding.
• This movie was followed by the sequels Devil Dolls Are Go!, The Devil Dolls take Manhattan! and Beyond the Valley of the Devil Dolls.

8/21/05 Update

Things You Never Knew About Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961)

by Mr. Lobo

• Invasion of the Neptune Men was the first 1960's Japanese Sci-Fi kids movie made with the intent of ending up on MST3K.
• Japan's national board of health decreed that all films made in 1961 have really annoying children in them to keep the population growth rate down.
• Now considered racist and taboo, comments describing the Neptune men as "bullet-heads" were in common use in published reviews and promotions for the film up through the 90's.
• Space Chief in various versions of this film is also called "Iron Sharp," "Chief of Space," "Starprancer," and "Iron Chef."
• Space Chief's car was actually made in Detroit - as the 1961 Chevrolet CurbFeeler!
• The Neptune Men were covered in foil so the actors would cook more evenly.
• Flamboyant hopping is considered very threatening in the Japanese culture.
• The entire film was slightly overcranked by camera crews to make it seem extra slow.
• Long scenes with badly lit actors talking was box office gold in 1961.
• Another reason the film was made was to make Prince of Space seem not so terrible.
• To save costs and to pad out the film's running time, the same shots of explosions and spaceships were used over and over again.
• In Japan, children in short pants are selected by lottery to advise the government on matters of national security.
• "Invasion of the Neptune Men" almost caused the US to rethink ending our war with Japan.
• The original title for this movie, Martians from Neptune, was dropped after distributors informed them that Martians were from Mars.
• The Neptune Men attacked the earth for coal to power their space ships. A scene with protesters back on their homeworld with "No Blood for Coal" signs was cut from the film.
• Space Chief's space car runs on the fumes created by silly men slap-fighting.
• To save costs and to pad out the film's running time, the same shots of explosions and spaceships were used over and over again.
• In preparation for this film, Koji Ota studied American sci-fi directors like Ed Wood.
• Space Chief spelled sideways is Prince of Space.
• The kids in the go-go scene were forced to take saltpeter before dancing so they would not display any "vulgar rhythms" in front of the camera.
• Electro-barrier is powered by the static electricity released by silly men slap-fighting.
• Actor Sonny Chiba stated that his role as Space Chief in Invasion Of The Neptune Men was the second most embarassing of his career, next to Kill Bill.
• The alien invaders actually do not come from Neptune, as the title suggests, but a small moon of Jupiter called Prozac.
• Japanese soldiers used to wear women's makeup to rattle the enemy.
• The supposed "hero" of the film, Space Chief, only appears on screen for three and a half minutes.
• Neptune Men are sensitive to violent thoughts, which is why they wear thick helmets - and why the slightest gesture causes them to fall down without actually being touched.
• Space Chief is said to actually be fearful of flying "because of the way things are these days".
• To save costs and to pad out the film's running time, the same shots of explosions and spaceships were used over and over again.
• Film ran out of money before a plot could be developed.
• Some of the funding for Invasion of the Neptune Men - as well as Prince Of Space and Gamera - came from the Wedji Wedji Company, makers of the popular short-shorts worn by the child stars of these films.
• Kenny is a name used in Japanese cinema whenever a child actor is disowned by his parents during the making of the film.
• The film was translated first into Korean, then French, then Spanish, then Gaelic, then Esperanto, dubbed in Italy, Scored in Russia, and finally dubbed again in New York with the first five kids they could find that could understand Italian.
• Invasion of The Neptune Men, Prince of Space and Starman are all secretly the same movie.
• There was one thing with the kids that was really entertaining... I just can't remember what it is right now.
• To save costs and to pad out the film's running time, the same shots of explosions and spaceships were used over and over again.
• The director made the aliens mute in the film because The Neptune Men Union demanded that they get paid 42 yen per line.
• In the original Japanese language version relaesed by TOEI, Mr. Tabana has the children in short pants sing a song from Million Dollar Mermaid (1951) and go into a dance number. All known copies of this scene have been destroyed.
• Film historians claim no original footage was ever really shot for this film, and have no idea how it can even exist.
• To save costs and to pad out the film's running time, the same shots of explosions and spaceships were used over and over again.
• If you took out the climatic air battle, Invasion of the Neptune Men would be 11 minutes long.
• Japan got in on WWII in the first place just so they could shoot the "so-called" stock dogfight footage used in this film.
• Two chain-smoking women, three teamsters, one professional child actor, four nephews of the sound engineer, and The East Side Kids provide the voices for the five Japanese children in the film.
• There are virtually no printed reviews of this film that don't contain the words "Mike and the 'bots".
• Invasion Of The Neptune Men was rumored to be directed by Adolf Hitler using a psuedonym, who has a Hitchcockian secret cameo in the film.
• The producers and editors of Invasion of the Neptune Men had a had a difficult time meeting the almost insurmountable challenge of making a film about a superhero fighting aliens seem boring.
• To save costs and to pad out the film's running time, the same shots of explosions and spaceships were used over and over again.
• Only 12 people paid to see this film in theaters, but surprisingly the film was not considered a bomb because it grossed 10 times its production budget.

 
Reprinted with kind permission from Countgore.com...
 

Something Worth Howling About

Gather 'round The Gallows again, my fellow pasty-faced Morlocks, and allow me to direct your glassy-eyed stares from your computer screen to that flickering box in the other corner of the room. That's right - I'm talking about your television. Your friend the TV is feelin' a little ignored right now, so why not go over and wipe her screen, tweak her knobs, push her buttons, and show her a little attention? Hey, you could even break out the "rabbit ears" for old times' sake.

What's that you say? The TV is getting a little played? Stale? Just the same-old same old? Count Gore (who will henceforth be referred to as The Naked Naysayer) and I had a short conversation in a cheap hotel room recently (don't ask), about what's on the tube nowadays. It went vaguely like this...

The Naked Naysayer: "Blah, blah... The Dead Zone... blah, blah, blah... Lost... blah, blah, blah... Desperate Housewives. Blah."

Me: (In my best backwater voice) "I like Dawg Duh Bounty Hunter. He's goood people."

The Naked Naysayer: (Throwing up his hands and rolling his eyes) "You always did have terrible taste."

Hmm... I supposed that story says more about my slipping grip on reality than whatever point I was trying to make. Where was I? Oh yeah - MR. LOBO! A couple of years back I ranted incoherently about Cinema Insomnia, a laid-back horror host show from California, hosted by laid-back horror host Mr. Lobo. Back then he was this strange man in a dark room talking to a plant and showing bad movies on cable access. Now, he is a nationally syndicated strange man in a dark room talking to a plant and showing bad movies on the UATV network! Hey, it's time to love your TV again!

Mr. Lobo is the tapped heir-apparent to the Bay Area's legendary Bob Wilkins, with a wry delivery and understated style that screams the universal wisdom: "If you want to get someone's attention... whisper." Our host relaxes in his rocker on a set that is any Gothic minimalist's dream; the simple, darkly lit lair of a psychointellecual film-freak. His catchphrase: "They're not bad movies, just misunderstood." His sidekick, a potted plant he calls Miss Mittens. His forte: pointing out the absurd through subtle sarcasm, commercial parodies, and an eye for producing the kind of retro television that will never go out of style.

Mr. Lobo has been stretching the legs of his show across the country for a while now via The Horror Host Underground www.horrorhosts.com, self-syndication and other outlets - generally pleading and whining for attention in a way that only horror hosts and pathetic stray puppies can. Well, it looks like all that shameless self-promotion has taken our buddy to a place where many horror hosts have gone before - and many wish we could return to - the land of UHF! That's right, even those of you without cable or a dish can tune into Cinema Insomnia, if you live in one of the select areas lucky enough to have a UATV affiliate. To find out if Mr. Lobo is gracing your local airwaves, or how to bring him to your town if he isn't already there, check out: www.cinemainsomnia.com!

'Til next we swing here on The Gallows, don't take life too seriously, because you know life is laughing at your expense!

   Your ol' pal,

   Ghastlee

8/14/05 Update

Things You Never Knew About Gigantis: The Fire Monster (1955)

by Mr. Lobo

• There have been 14 different stories as to why Godzilla's name was changed to "Gigantis" in the American version:

1. The studio thought the name was too ethnic.
2. The Original Godzilla was killed by the oxygen destroyer in the first film - and out of respect for the widow they refrained from using the name.
3. Warner Brothers could not get permission to use Godzilla from Rogers and Hammerstein, who secured the name for their musical "The King Of Monsters and I".
4. Paul Schreibman, the producer of the American version, said that he changed Godzilla's name to "Gigantis" because that was the name of his dog at the time. He has since regretted that decision.
5. All of the contracts were done up in the style of a crossword puzzle, and Gigantis also started with a "G" and fit seven letters across.
6. Gigantis is a common pseudonym used by members of the Screen Monsters Guild when their films were clearly taken away from her/him and recut heavily against her/his wishes in ways that completely altered the film.
7. Gigantis means "Godzilla" in pidgeon English.
8. Protests from religious groups for use of the word "God" in a monster movie.
9. Protests from atheists for use of the word "God" in a monster movie.
10. The American producers simply forgot the name of the monster and gave the excuse, "that Chong-man talk don't make no sense anyhow".
11. Gigantis is the name of the Aztec God of Marketing Mistakes.
12. Godzilla converted to the Muslim religion and his full name became Mohammed Gigantisofo X.
13. Warner Brothers used name Gigantis after the Fire Monster formerly known as Godzilla legally changed his name to an unpronouncable symbol.
14. All Of The Above.

• The cameraman accidentally undercranked (instead of overcranked) the film for the giant monsters' fights so that they appeared sped up instead of slowed down, as is typical in all other Kaiju pictures. Special Effects Director Eiji Tsuburaya liked the effect, and decided to used it for the entire film. After viewing the film sober, Tsuburaya decided to check himself and into rehab. The cameraman died of alcoholism in 1967.
• Instead of using Masaru Satô's original score, Warner substituted themes from Kronos (1957), The Deerslayer (1957), Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948), Popeye The Sailor Meets Ali Baba's Forty Thieves (1937) and Million Dollar Mermaid (1952).
• Many times when Gigantis opens his mouth during the American dubbed version, instead of the Godzilla trademark roar we more often hear hear Anguirus' roar, the MGM Lion's roar, an automotive horn, slide whistle, or a train wreck.
• Other titles for this film are Bad News Behemoths Go To Japan, Firemonster Walk With Me , Godzilla Vs. Koosh-O-Saurus, Don't Look Back in Anguiris, Attack of the Sweaty Japanese Men In Rubber Suits, and Barney and Friends.
• There is remake with homoerotic overtones called Godzilla On Fire Island.
• This is the first film in which Godzilla fights another monster - American greed.
• This suit used in this movie was very similar to the first one used in Godzilla, King of the Monsters in that it is made of rubber and there is a guy inside.
• The suit used for Gigantis - The Fire Monster was slimmed down to fit Haruo Nakajima better, and to make the acting process a little more comfortable. He only passed out once every hour instead of once every half-hour like he did in the first Godzilla film.
• The irises on Gigantis' eyes were much bigger than the original suit, which had smaller, "beadier" eyes. However larger the eyes became on newer versions of the Godzilla suit, it didn't really help the guy inside looking out of slits in its neck.
• This film was made before Hollywood image consultants pressured Gigantis to have those little ears pinned back.
• The dorsal fins on the monster in Gigantis were kept about the same size and shape as the original Godzilla and there were still four toes on each foot, proving once again that I have far too much time on my hands.
• This film was going to be remade in the US as The Fire Monsters. It followed a similar plotline where a tyranosaurus and an ankylosaurus are captured, then brought to San Francisco - but the producers were sued by the owners of Godzilla On Fire Island.
• Godzilla (1954) became such a huge hit that Toho produced this sequel and got it into theaters -despite the numerous special effects scenes required - in less than six months after the original film was released, instead of the six and a half months it usually takes.

8/11/05 Update

Things You Never Knew About The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

by Mr. Lobo

• The Brain That Wouldn't Die was also known as The Head That Roared, Head For The Hills, There's A Brain In My Soup, and Sweet Noggins.
• Director Joseph Green wanted actress Virginia Leith to lose 10-15 pounds for the role and joked about renaming the film The Brain That Wouldn't Diet.
• To dispel "casting couch" rumors, the film's casting director stated that in comparison to other actresses up for the part of "Jan in the Pan", Virginia Leith's head was just more outstanding.
• In the opening scene's operating room, Dr. Bill Cortner and his father are actually just pretending to perform surgery. The decision was made to stage the procedure after losing four patients in rehearsal.
• When reaching into the burning wreck of his convertible, Dr. Cortner originally saves his car stereo - particularly incredible since car radios were mono at that time.
• The set for Dr. Cortner's country house was built in the beautiful Vermont countryside, which is a shame since most of the film is shot indoors in the basement or in other rooms with no windows.
• The mechanical head spent most of the movie broken-down, and was unavailable for nearly all of the front view shots. This led Joseph Green to use the hole-in-the-table effect with Virginia Leith's real head. Manythink this added to the "chilling" quality in the final release, and that it would have been too "cheesy" if they had used the fake head as much as originally planned.
• While in the uncomfortable laboratory table setup which was built around Virginia Leith's head and neck, the actress ad-libbed many of the famous lines from the film such as "Let me die...", "Get me the hell out of here!", and "Where is my check?"
• At 92 minutes in length, it takes 12 minutes more to watch the film than it took Rex Carlton and Joseph Green to make it.
• Leslie Daniels' line, "The paths of experimentation twist and turn through mountains of miscalculations and often lose themselves in error and darkness!," was a quote from J. Edgar Hoover.
• Brad Pitt was considered for the role of Kurt, but unfortunately he wasn't born yet when the film was in production.
• One of the taglines for The Brain That Wouldn't Die was, "Alive... without a body... and marinated overnight in unspeakable horror!"
• When Kurt said the line, "You're nothing but a freak of life! And - a freak of death!," he was supposed to sing "Yo-o-ou ain't got no-body... and no-body cares for you".
• After Dr. Cortner leaves the strippers' changing room, the brunette stripper is seen taking off her white glove - yet when she is slapped and she puts her hand to her face her glove is suddenly back on. She apparently knows where her mouth has been.
• The close-up of the blonde stripper slapping the brunette stripper shows an extremely hairy and manly arm - which clearly reveals that the blonde stripper was the tranvestite, and not the brunette as most of us suspected.
• Now there is no real trivia per se concerning the catfight between the two strippers, but let's just think about that catfight for a little while... Yeah... Mmm-hmm... Wha? I forgot you were still here.
• When Dr. Cortner goes to the "Body Beautiful" contest to find a suitable body for his fiancá's head, the MC announces that there are five finalists - but he only brings out four. The fifth was disqualified because she already gave her body to one of the judges backstage.
• The line "Oh, come on now, Doris. Do I look like a maniac who goes around killing girls?" was later published in Dr. Cortner's Big Book of Pick-up Lines.
• One of Adele Lamont's model photographers was Sammy Petrillo, who also starred in Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla. Ironically, his head now belongs to Jerry Lewis.
• After Kurt has his arm ripped off by the beast in the closet, he stumbles through the house smearing blood on everything (including the chair and table in the entryway)... but the McCall's magazine on the table is far too recent to be in a doctor's office, therefore destroying the film's otherwise perfect realism.
• An arm is visible as a lump under Kurt's jacket after the monster supposedly pulled it off. This is evidence of a deleted original subplot of the film in which Kurt had three arms.
• The Brain That Wouldn't Die was released in a shorter version that removes most of objectional footage of doctors smoking.
• Dr. Cortner moves screen left to make drinks - but after closing the bottle, he picks up the two glasses and he is sudenly on the opposite side of the lab. Those are obviously some damn good drinks!
• After laying the body of Kurt down, Dr. Cortner goes to to make drinks. When he is done and we cut to the wide shot, Kurt appears to be in a different position than he was left. Like I said, those are damn good drinks.
• This film was originally shot in 3-D and then someone said... "Why"?
• Roy Schieder was originally in the cast as "Second Lab Assistant" but was thrown off the set when he ad-libbed the line, "You're gonna need a bigger gravy boat."
• This film has never been officially released in the UK. It was rejected by the BBFC in 1961 for having "too many scenes with Americans talking for long periods of time" and has never been submitted for a re-rating.
• This was the first drive-in movie ever to reach the coveted $1,000 mark.
• The line, "Nothing you can be is more terrible than what I am," was later used to promote the film Gigli.
• When Dr. Cortner's monster comes out of the closet, it was originally wearing high heels and ladies underwear!
• The studio was investigated for false advertising after posters went out with claims like "Fantastic! Weird! Horrifying!" It was eventually determined the posters were fantastic, weird, and horrifying - but not the film.
• Jan is actually soaking in pan of Southern Comfort, and really believed she was "just a head" by the end of the day's shooting.
• This movie is said to be a favorite of Walt Disney.
• Dr. Bill Cortner was played by Jason "Herb" Evers, who later starred in Claws, Basket Case 2, The Illustrated Man and Burger King's failed "Where's Herb?" campaign.
• While the doctor is attacked by the hideous monster, a rip in the latex skull cap on the monster reveals wrestler Eddie Carmel's hair underneath! This is a let-down, of course, because professional wrestlers are not real.
• Huge 7'8" Eddie Carmel was also known as "Eleazer Carmel, the wrestling champion of Israel." The previous wrestling champion of Israel was 4'11" "Tudy Idris," deceased.
• Original plans were for last reel to be in color, with the doctor's head being cut off, and scenes were filmed with rats menacing the head. These was later attached to some prints of The Wizard Of Oz (1939).
• The film ends with a title card reading "The Head that Wouldn't Die" - instead of "The Brain that Wouldn't Die" - since it was obvious by that point that everyone involved in the production was brain-dead.
• Some other Rex Carlton film productions were: The Devil's Hand; Blood of Dracula's Castle; C-Man; Mr. Universe, Give Me Another Shot, My Next Movie Will Be Better, I Like Booze, Borrowing From The Mob, Lord Not Another Flop, They're After Me, They're Still After Me; and Goodbye Cruel World.

8/2/05 Update

Things You Never Knew About Night of the Living Dead (1968)

by Mr. Lobo

• The "Blood" in Night of the Living Dead is actually Bosco chocolate syrup - which, ironically, is made from 20% human blood.
• When the zombies are eating the bodies in the burnt-out truck, they were actually eating roast ham covered in chocolate sauce. However, all the vomit and chronic diarrhea in the film is real.
• The gas pump was not bolted to the ground. When the actress that played Barbara runs into it at the start of the film, she tipped it over on the cameraman - killing him. Fortunately, he did not stay dead and filming could resume.
• One of the working titles for this film was Night of Anubis. Censors would not allow the film to be released in the US with that title, thinking Anubis might be a word describing a private body part.
• During the filming of the cemetery sequence (shot on two separate days) an unexpected accident caused a fast change of script. The car driven by Barbara and Johnny into the cemetery was actually owned by the mother of Russell Streiner. Unfortunately, some time between the two filming sequences, a real zombie attacked the car and the result was a huge dent along the side - which would be easily visible on camera. George A. Romero rewrote the film to include zombies in his film to preserve continuity.
• In the scene where Ben is nailing wooden boards to the door, small numbers can be seen on them. These were written on the backs of the boards so they could be removed and replaced between shots. Also visible are the actors' dialogue, camera settings, and Momma Romero's shopping list.
• Tom Savini was originally hired by George A. Romero to do the makeup effects for this film. But Savini declined, because he had a better horror movie offer - The U.S. Army wanted him to serve as a combat photographer in Vietnam.
• The social commentary on racism (as some have seen in this film) was never intended. According to the filmmakers, after Duane Jones was shot by the posse of good old boys for holing himself up in a farmhouse with a white woman they just went with the racism thing to preseve continuity.
• This is the first horror film to have an African-American (Duane Jones) playing a lead role without saying the line, "Feets don't fail me now!"
• Bill "Chilly Billy" Cardille, who played the television reporter, hosted a local horror movie program on Pittsburg's Channel 11 and occasionally reported the news. Fortunately, he did not check his sources before reporting the zombie invasion.
• Almost every Hollywood studio passed on Night Of The Living Dead because of its unbelievable premise that a black man could be the hero.
• One of the original investors was a butcher who provided real intestines and guts for the cannibalism scenes. These were sold the day after shooting wrapped for 29 cents a pound.
• Actor/co-producer Karl Hardman (who played Harry Cooper, the father in the basement) also served as makeup artist, electronic sound effects engineer, took the still photos used for the closing credits, cooked the hams, pulled out bent nails, cut the grass, did light dusting, made snow cones, lent Romero a gardening spade, and provided the wheelbarrow for George A. Romero's balls.
• The extras who played the zombies were promised $1, a t-shirt that said "I was a zombie on Night of the Living Dead" and all they could eat.
• The score of the film was created by using old records for which the copyright had expired. This is why Happy Birthday was cut from the burning truck sequence.
• When the writers decided to base the film on zombies, they brainstormed about what would be the most shocking thing for the zombies to do to people... and decided that Tantric massage was too much so they settled on cannibalism.
• During production, one the film's working titles was Ordinary People.
• The character of "Ben" was originally supposed to be a crude but resourceful truck driver. After Duane Jones auditioned for the part, director and co-writer George A. Romero figured it would be better to use an actor rather than a truck driver.
• George A. Romero has readily admitted that Busby Berkeley's Million Dollar Mermaid (1952) was a big influence on his making of this film.
• The main house did not have a true basement but a dirt "potter's" cellar, and thus had no long staircase leading down into it. Those scenes were filmed in the basement of the Alamo.
• The word "zombie" is never used - ever. Not even in real life. In fact, you never even read this.
• The music used in the film was from a Capitol Records "Hi-Q" stock music library, and cost the filmmakers $1500. It was originally used in Teenagers from Outer Space (1959), Killer Shrews (1959), Hideous Sun Demon, Space Angel, Phantom From Space, Shane, The Courtship Of Eddie's Father,and several Heckle and Jeckle cartoons.
• One of the Walter Reade Organization's publicity stunts was a $50,000 insurance policy against anyone dying from a heart attack after watching the film every Halloween Night on TV for 30 years.
• The film's world premiere was at the Fulton Theatre in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, on 1 October 1968 (At 8 P.M., admission by invitation only). The film was met with a standing ovation followed by severe vomiting.
• The only real mishap to happen during filming involved the brother of producer and actor Russell Streiner (who played "Johnny"), Gary Streiner. After the scene where Duane Jones sets the chair on fire, Gary attempts to sit in it and caught his clothes on fire.
• George A. Romero was the one operating the camera when S. William Hinzman (the cemetery zombie) attacks Barbara in her car by smashing the window with a rock. When Hinzman shattered the window, the rock barely missed Romero and knocked over the wheelbarrow used on the set to carry Romero's balls.
• Some of the groans made by S. William Hinzman when he's wrestling with Russell Streiner in the cemetery are authentic. During the struggle, Streiner accidentally kneed Hinzman in the groin. The other groans heard were made by the crew who watched Hinzman get kneed in the groin.
• The house used for this film was loaned to the filmmakers by the owner, who planned to demolish it anyway, thereby ensuring that they could do whatever they wanted to the house. Every year, the crew reunites at the Wal-Mart that now stands at that location.
• There were twenty-seven trucks used in the film - one for every shot where the truck is seen in the movie - providing hilarious continuity errors thoughout the film.
• While writing the script, George A. Romero and John A. Russo were trying to think of a manner in which to destroy the zombies. Marilyn Eastman joked that they should bore them with useless movie trivia.
• The filmmakers were attacked by fundamentalist religious groups for being "satanically inspired" because the actors were feeding on pork products - and not actual human flesh.
• This film has been the standard for almost every zombie film made since its release (Saturday Night Fever, Xanadu, Weekend At Bernie's).
• One of the working titles for this film was Night of the Flesh Eaters, but that title had already been secured by a now-famous pornography producer.
• Though the radiation of a satellite returning from Venus is the suspected cause which returns the dead to life, the actual cause is poor diet and lack of exercise.
• The script suffered through several revisions during filming. Originally, the character of Barbara was supposed to survive, but she was just sooo damn annoying.
• Originally, one idea for the script called for Harry Cooper to die from the gunshot wound he received from Ben before his daughter became a zombie - which would have resulted in Helen coming down the stairs to find him eating their daughter, rather than the daughter eating him. It was decided that this would probably turn audiences off.
• Assuming the movie takes place on the first spring time change (per the dialog at the beginning) after the date (December 1966) on the calendar in the house (a reasonable assumption from the condition of the body in the house), one could determine that I have far too much time on my hands.
• The body upstairs in the house was made by director George A. Romero, who used ping-pong balls for eyes. This made it very difficult to see what he was doing while making it.

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