To think it is already the holidays. Time to gather around for this holiday edition of MITCH MITTEN’S REVIEWS! SANTA’S SLAY(2005) is one of those HUGE misunderstood holiday horror films not many have heard of and few have seen. I viewed it several years ago but it was fantastic to hear you CINSOMNIACS and SLEEPLESS KNIGHTS wished me to review it. Strap yourselves in because here we go!
Twas the Night before Christmas dinner, all through the night the Mason family was hosting a dinner party. Not just any Christmas diner party. A Christmas party that would be the last Christmas party of their life. Mr. Mason (played by the legendary JAMES CAAN) pleads for a “moist” turkey, Gwen’s husband gets “handy” with the golddigger Mrs. Virginia Mason, and the twins nieces bicker over present requests. Then there came a clang on the roof, the thumping of boots, oh who who who comes to visit the Masons this fine Christmas Eve?
Why is it……Santa Clause?
This is only the beginning, we travel to the town of Hells Township (what a name) where he begins “just desserts” holiday murdering spree. Can you imagine growing up with the joyful tales and images of a old man with a swollen belly who brought Christmas joy to the doors of children of all ages to all of a sudden become a murdering giant wielding Christmas decorations, lights, and stripper poles across the town.
Why? Why is he doing this? We meet teenager named Nicholas who lives with his somewhat crazy inventor grandfather. Only his grandfather is not as crazy as he may seem. After Nicholas comes home to his grandfather’s homemade bunker, he sits down to hear the true tale of Santa Clause. According to the tale, Santa (son of Satan) lost a contest with an angel of heaven. The cost? Santa had to cease from killing and slaying for Satan for 1,000 years and turn the official “Day of Slaying” into a day of joy aka Christmas. Now, that time is up and Santa is no longer Mr. Jolly.
The rest of the film is filled with unique kills, thrills, and cheer to keep you wanting more and more. One death in particular will probably be enjoyed or not so enjoyed by Star Trek:TNG fans. I wonder who is going to get his collection of irreplaceable collectables?
Anyway, this holiday horror extravaganza is the gift that keeps on giving. I officially give this film a 10 out of 10 Hypnotic Eyes! You barely hear about it, it is truly misunderstood, and it’s one of those holiday horror films who should join the space alongside BLACK CHRISTMAS(1974) and SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT(1984).
Have any more Cinsomniacs or Sleepless Knights tuned into these films? If so, what are your thoughts on it? Do you agree with the rating? Would you like Mitch Mittens to do another review in the middle of the week? Leave your comments or private massage and let us know! If you have a suggestion of another film for MITCH MITTENS to review, leave it in the comments. Thank you for “tuning in” and come back for another dose of misunderstood holiday cheer from MITCH MITTENS REVIEWS!