MR. LOBO HOSTS MOVIES ON A BIG SCREEN – SANTA VS. SATAN and SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY

CRAPPY  CHRISTMAS WITH MR. LOBO Part 1

Thursday, Dec 20, 2012
7:00pm
Admission: $5.00
Movies on a Big Screen at The Grange
3823 V St, Sacramento, CA 95817

Santa vs Satan poster

Santa Vs. Satan

 The entire night will be overseen and hosted by nationally syndicated late night horror host, Cinema Insomnia‘s Mr. Lobo! We’ll also be giving out Crappy Christmas presents to those few unlucky enough to get them.

And featuring this K. Gordon Murray Classic!We’re equal parts apologetic and ashamed that we’ll be yet AGAIN presenting the return of this bizarre and relatively unknown movie from 1959, originally filmed and released in Mexico. Included will be the badly dubbed English soundtrack from its 1960 US release.Nationally Syndicated Late Night Horror Host Cinema Insomnia's Mr. Lobo

The plot is fairly straight-forward – Santa lives on a cloud floating over the North Pole where, rather than elves, children from all over the world help make toys (and they’re really more like happy slaves). Is this a happy Santa that you’ll hope will come down your chimney? Um, not so much. He’s pretty creepy with his overly sweet voice paired with his disturbing (and not quite jolly) laugh and insincere and sometimes vacant eyes staring at children through odd Sid and Marty Krofft-like devices – well, it’s best just left at that… But anyway – Satan is determined to bring Santa down, so sends his minion, Pitch (a skinny guy in a cheap weird red suit), to the surface to make the kids of the world hate Santa and engage in vandalism and other mischief. Oh yes – and Santa is pals with Merlin the Magician who supplies St. Nick with, amongst other things, sleeping powder. Oh – did we mention the vampiric mechanized reindeer? No? Or the interpretive dance in Hell? Hmm…


Santa vs Satan Living Room

All in all, this is one surreal (and yes, it IS surreal) cheaply made (and yes, it IS very low-budget, so don’t expect quality) Christmas travesty for all to enjoy, even with its boring parts (and yes, it DOES have it’s boring parts). When this was first released in theaters, it was common to see children leaving in tears from trauma and fright.

You know, it’s not really a Christmas movie without dialog like, “There’s a prowler out there — he’s come to kill your wife. And your children. He’s going to murder you!”


Santa vs Satan Letters“How can a movie get everything so very, very wrong and yet be so very, very right? If you aren’t the least bit familiar with this surreal trip into an extremely non-traditional view of jolly ol’ St. Nick, perhaps the less known the better, as half the fun of this colossal mess is staring in dumbfounded awe at what is transpiring on the screen. It’s a hoot. A damned scary hoot, granted, but certainly a hoot.” – dvdinmypants.com

Seating is limited. Advance tickets are closed (some will be available at the door until the event sells out).

Advance tickets are will call. The person whose name the tickets are under will need to show photo id on the night of the show. Each advance ticket has a 50 cent service charge for this night. Seating is first come first served.


CRAPPY  CHRISTMAS WITH MR. LOBO Part 2

Thursday, Dec 27, 2012
7:00pm
Admission: $5.00
Movies on a Big Screen at The Grange
3823 V St, Sacramento, CA 95817

 

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny poster

We have no idea why, but we’ve been inundated with requests to show this again. We find this quite interesting, since only about 8 people showed up when we showed it a couple of years ago, and more people have asked for it than actually went, so we’ll see how this goes. We’re just reusing the synopsis we wrote up back in 2010, too.

Well, we’re really out-doing ourselves with the “crappy” theme this year, by inflicting you with this tragically bad holiday movie. When you gaze on the blown-out and fuzzy picture, and strain to hear the horrific, and oftentimes inaudible, audio, you might mistake this for someone’s home movie. But oh no. This thing actually played in theaters. For CHILDREN!

So what’s it all about?

Santa has managed to crash his sleigh on a Florida beach. It’s stuck in maybe 2 inches of sand (yes, folks – that’s TWO WHOLE INCHES). It would appear Santa is more than a little drunk. “Donner, Blitzen and all the rest” (yeah, they didn’t even bother to figure out all of the reindeers’ names) have wisely fled the scene. Santa moans. Santa sings. Santa stares directly at the sun for around 30 seconds. Santa passes out. Oh, and he summons the local “Kids” (as they’re billed in the credits) to come and help, who bring along a lot of livestock (from where?) and a guy in a gorilla suit? Yep.

Well, after a really long time (and it will feel like weeks while you’re watching this), nothing will dislodge the sleigh from the TWO WHOLE INCHES of sand, so Santa calls on the Ice Cream Bunny. It’s gonna take awhile for him to get there, so Santa tells the story of “Thumbelina” – which is a movie within the movie. Actually, it’s a movie within a movie within the larger movie framework. That will make sense when you see this. After this REALLY overly-long flower child version of the fairy tale with animals and amphibians showing an unnatural interest in a two-inch young lady, we go back to the beach. And the Ice Cream Bunny (someone in a matted, dirty, and likely diseasefilled rabbit suit from your worst childhood fever nightmares), slowly makes his way to where Santa is in an old fire engine, accompanied by a slow, mournful, death-toll sounding siren. And how will it all end?

Well, as the poster proclaims, with “The Exciting Rescue!” Ahem. Yeah. It’s as exciting as it is “breathtaking.”

Oh – of course, that synopsis doesn’t include any of the ugly details about the sweat stains on Santa’s ass. Or the random raccoon attack on Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn in their brief and meaningless cameo. Or all other manner of head-scratching moments peppered throughout this “movie.”

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny Bunny Head

“This was not a movie meant to spread the joy of Christmas, but rather a torture device meant to scare impressionable young children away from ever wanting to have anything to do with the holiday. …after seeing this movie, all those kids ended up wanting for Christmas was some serious psychotherapy.” – The Agony Booth

“This movie really sucked.” – Invasion of the B Movies

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