It’s Going to Be a Silent Night….Bloody Night on MITCH MITTENS REVIEWS!

10447406_846179352092789_1087176575440826876_nHello Fellow CInsomniacs and Sleepless Knights,

In almost less than a week’s time, we shall all be gathering around for the holidays. Children expecting Santa Clauseto slide down the chimney to bring them their yearly gifts for them being good instead of naughty. This week, I reminisced about the old holiday classic horror film-SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT(1972).

Cue that old-time organ music will ya, Frankie? Ok? I guess not…..Not to worry, the beginning of the movie will take care of it. 8qhEjcdCK9hHxWzMx6cyYwLR4RGWe begin our story with a short history about a house where our main story plot takes place. According to legend (or woman in the beginning’s tale), Wilfred Butler, the house’s original owner was found burned alive outside his home the day before Christmas in the mid-50s. Soon afterward, the home was turned into an asylum for the criminally insane against Wilfred Butler’s last testimony in his will stating the home should be left alone. 

You know when someone says a house, a grave, a school, or anything that could or should be abandoned-stay abandoned? Of course no one is going to leave it alone! We watch an axe murderer make his way out of a nearby asylum, butchering anyone and everyone in sight without seeing his face as he drives away in one of his victims’ vehicles. Then we are left wondering who this guy is…….here we go

hqdefaultJeffrey Butler decides he wants to sell the establishment for $50,000 in cash to the townspeople through his lawyer John Carter. John lays out the plan and sets the deadline for the money to be paid for the house by noon the next day. Not listening to the townspeople’s warnings about the house, John decides him and his “assistant/mistress” Ingrid to stay at the house instead of the Paradise hotel.

Obviously, knowing two people are going to stay in a house that has been told not to be stayed in are, guess what? Axed to death and right before we found out what John Carter was going to give Ingrid her “present” *cue in cheesy maniacal laughter*.

 SilentNightBloodyNight_1972_GeorgeD-posterI will warn you, this movie is filled with acting you have wonder the why this film wasn’t a soap opera instead of a film. I even looked for William Shatner at times to pop up and ask why things were progressing the way they were.  I mean, even the acting coming from, wait a second, is that Principal Togar from ROCK ‘N’ ROLL HIGHSCHOOL? No wonder why the kids sent for The Ramones. Even when she was “young” her acting was…..let’s give it a C- for grading purposes. 

We soon witnessed quite creative bloody scenes, an interesting twisty plot line sprinkled with questions like: “How in the world did you know the caller on the phone was a woman when the individual did not call you!” moments from both her and Jeffery Butler who in the beginning gives off the “creepy axe murderer” vibes, and an ending that is snappy and so fast you have to practically glue your eye lids open to not miss it.

I give this film 6 1/2 HYPNOTIC EYES out of 10 because you don’t really hear about this movie around Holiday time and it has a great storyline, just “Misunderstood” characters and acting.

Have any more Cinsomniacs or Sleepless Knights tuned into these films? If so, what are your thoughts on it? Do you agree with the rating? Would you like Mitch Mittens to do another review? Leave your comments or private massage and let us know! If you have a suggestion of another film for MITCH MITTENS to review, leave it in the comments. Thank you for “tuning in” and come back for another dose of misunderstood holiday cheer from MITCH MITTENS REVIEWS!

——MITCH MITTENS

Let’s Take a Ride on “SANTA’S SLAY” on Mitch Mittens Reviews!

MMReviews

To think it is already the holidays. Time to gather around for this holiday edition of MITCH MITTEN’S REVIEWS! SANTA’S SLAY(2005) is one of those HUGE misunderstood holiday horror films not many have heard of and few have seen. I viewed it several years ago but it was fantastic to hear you CINSOMNIACS and SLEEPLESS KNIGHTS wished me to review it. Strap yourselves in because here we go!

Twas the Night before Christmas dinner, all through the night the Mason family was hosting a dinner party. Not just any Christmas diner party. A Christmas party that would be the last Christmas party of their life. Mr. Mason (played by the legendary JAMES CAAN) pleads for a “moist” turkey, Gwen’s husband gets “handy” with the golddigger Mrs. Virginia Mason, and the twins nieces bicker over present requests. Then there came a clang on the roof, the thumping of boots, oh who who who comes to visit the Masons this fine Christmas Eve?

santasslay01

Why is it……Santa Clause?

santas-slay-04Or BILL GOLDBERG?

This is only the beginning, we travel to the town of Hells Township (what a name) where he begins “just desserts” holiday murdering spree. Can you imagine growing up with the joyful tales and images of a old man with a swollen belly who brought Christmas joy to the doors of children of all ages to all of a sudden become a murdering giant wielding Christmas decorations, lights, and stripper poles across the town.

douglas_smith_1253934934Why? Why is he doing this? We meet teenager named Nicholas who lives with his somewhat crazy inventor grandfather. Only his grandfather is not as crazy as he may seem. After Nicholas comes home to his grandfather’s homemade bunker, he sits down to hear the true tale of Santa Clause.  According to the tale, Santa (son of Satan) lost a contest with an angel of heaven. The cost? Santa had to cease from killing and slaying for Satan for 1,000 years and turn the official “Day of Slaying” into a day of joy aka Christmas. Now, that time is up and Santa is no longer Mr. Jolly.

SANTAS-SLAY-2The rest of the film is filled with unique kills, thrills, and cheer to keep you wanting more and more. One death in particular will probably be enjoyed or not so enjoyed by Star Trek:TNG fans. I wonder who is going to get his collection of irreplaceable collectables? 

Anyway, this holiday horror extravaganza is the gift that keeps on giving. I officially give this film a 10 out of 10 Hypnotic Eyes! You barely hear about it, it is truly misunderstood, and it’s one of those holiday horror films who should join the space alongside BLACK CHRISTMAS(1974) and SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT(1984).

Have any more Cinsomniacs or Sleepless Knights tuned into these films? If so, what are your thoughts on it? Do you agree with the rating? Would you like Mitch Mittens to do another review in the middle of the week? Leave your comments or private massage and let us know! If you have a suggestion of another film for MITCH MITTENS to review, leave it in the comments. Thank you for “tuning in” and come back for another dose of misunderstood holiday cheer from MITCH MITTENS REVIEWS!

——MITCH MITTENS

Loyal and Royal! Knurl Chubb from the Bay Area is our Fan of The Week!

Lobo_BorloffWe are thankful for this week for one of our very best CInsomniacs a Sleepless Knight who goes by the codename KNURL CHUBB. She wrote a nice, self-described “long winded dissertation” about CINEMA INSOMNIA and how she came to watch it, and live the life. She sent us some of her favorite pictures taken with her camera. She especially likes the one of Mr. Lobo at the first Lobotronic in Sacramento at the Studio Theater. Also the SECRETS OF HORROR HOSTING panel at Wondercon 2006, with Bob and John, and the historic meeting of Mr. Lobo and Karlos Borloff at Comic-Con in San Diego, 2009.

 
KTEH, KCTH, AMGTV, DVD, LIVESTREAM, ROKU, She’s followed CI from outlet to outlet and looking forward to watching new CI episodes, live hosted on Ustream. She thinks it’s really fun to chat with the other fans while she watches. She convinced her boss at TRILLIAM GRAPHICS to sponsor CI on KTEH and she made a blow-up banner and stickers of CI artwork!
“We used to watch the L.A. horror host Seymour on Saturday nights when I was a teen, and later in college, we watched Bob Wilkins’ Creature Features show in the dorm TV room. I often lamented that there were no horror hosts on TV any more, and always wished they would revive Creature Features.

Then, one Saturday night, second week of October 2005, I turned on the TV to watch the un-hosted monster movies, on KTEH out of San Jose, and it was Cinema Insomnia with Mr. Lobo. In the Halloween show, he played his new music video “Watching TV”. It was fantastic! I was completely and irrevocably hooked. Mr Lobo had totally captured the feeling of watching monster movies with my friends as a teen!

 

lecture2Lobo I want you! fixedI love the show because it is a perfect blend of current and retro, really well written, creative, and hilarious. It has always made me forget my troubles for a couple of hours and have a good laugh. My favorite Saturday night is to watch monster movies in PJs with some snacks and the cats snuggled up.

 
I like to try and collect all the shows so I can have a nice archive. I have a lot of them on DVD and even VHS, and now that they are on the internet, I’ll probably have digital files as well. I also love going to the live shows, they are the best!”

Knurl also sent us a selfie in her CI Santa eyeball hat from that first fundraiser at KTEH, waaaay back when.
CI MeThank you, KNURL CHUBB, valued Sleepless Knight, for ALL of your support, for MR. LOBO and CINEMA INSOMNIA, and for watching all those Misunderstood Movies! Here is your FAN OF THE WEEK certificate that you can download and print. Congratulations, KNURL CHUBB –THE SLEEPLESS KNIGHT OF THE WEEK–for November 28th through the December 4th!

FanoftheWeek
You now stand alongside your “FAN OF THE WEEK” siblings and like them, you are eligible to become the FAN OF THE YEAR and receive prize package that will include a framed certificate, official Lobo Necktie, Lobo Badge and other goodies to be announced in December!